Ode to Solitude

Ode to Solitude

A Poem by Guardian
"

My first ode. It was a challange at first and this is the final product after numerous drafts but I really like how it turned out!

"

Ode to Solitude

 

Solitude is rare in a modern life,

But its rarity makes it much more sweet.

Stress and worry is exceedingly rife.

When caught in the throng I can’t feel complete.

The noise sweeps inward like a vengeful horde.

Pressures close in, never allowing rest.

Peace seems distant, impossible to find.

Commotion creates a dissonant chord.

Tension now spreads, an uninvited guest.

The clamor tastes like a bitter rind.

 

Your only desire, a place of peace.

But those places are few and far between.

When will the terrible noise ever cease?

When can I escape from this busy scene?

In solitude I relish the quiet,

But where can I feel solitude’s bliss?

Where can I wander alone and unswayed?

An oasis away from the riot,

Where I can enjoy sweet nature’s soft kiss.

My heart yearns for solitude’s soothing shade.

 

When solitude is found I am content,

Finally free from society’s storm.

Free to absorb the flowers’ calming scent.

Free to savor the sun, tender and warm.

Free to laugh and jump, free to dance and sing.

Free to be myself, without any fear.

Free to think alone, free to hope and dream.

Free to soar, free to fly on bended wing.

It’s solitude that has become so dear.

In belov’d solitude, my soul does gleam.

 

© 2009 Guardian


Author's Note

Guardian
Let me know what you think. I want honest feedback.

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*Note: Please don't think I didn't like it if I offer lots of suggestions. I thought it was good enough to read through and analyze, which is a compliment, not an insult*
"Solitude is rare in a modern life," would sound better as " Solitude is rare in OUR modern liVES,"; "The clamor tastes like a bitter rind." is 9 syllables not 10, you could change "clamor" to "clamoring", change "the" to "constant", or add "now" after the "clamor"; "But where can I feel solitude's bliss?" is 9 syllables and you could add "now" before "feel", reword it to "Where can I feel the bliss of solitude", change the "but" to "and" and add "yet" after that or simply add "yet" after the "but", or change the "but" to "yet" and add "now" after that; the use of "belov'd" in the last line is a rather obvious ploy to make the line fit, so since you probably don't want to rewrite the entire poem you should change the "does" in the last line to "doth" keeping the language consistent in that end line, change it to "beloved" and remove the "my" and add an s to "gleam" making it "gleams", or make all the end lines archaic, the first end line could be "The clamor, it tastes like a bitter rind" ,"The clamor doth taste as bitterest rind", or "The clamor tastes as (or like) the bitter of rind", the second end line could become "my heart doth yearn for solitude's soothings" ,"For the shade of solitude, my heart yearns" or "And too the soothing of solitude's shade" linking it with the previous line, and then the last line would be "In belov'd solitude, my soul doth gleam."


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This was done very nicely. You exhibit a talent for poetry. Keep up the good work and hope to hear more from you.

Author: Nancy Lee Shrader

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's beautiful, Guardian. I love the concrete imagery, especially the use of taste (which gets rather neglected in most poetry.) The rhyme scheme was really interesting - I've never seen one that uses those sets of six. The rhythm got lost once or twice, but it was in general a relief from all the 'open' poems I've read lately. Nice flow, beautiful work!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

*Note: Please don't think I didn't like it if I offer lots of suggestions. I thought it was good enough to read through and analyze, which is a compliment, not an insult*
"Solitude is rare in a modern life," would sound better as " Solitude is rare in OUR modern liVES,"; "The clamor tastes like a bitter rind." is 9 syllables not 10, you could change "clamor" to "clamoring", change "the" to "constant", or add "now" after the "clamor"; "But where can I feel solitude's bliss?" is 9 syllables and you could add "now" before "feel", reword it to "Where can I feel the bliss of solitude", change the "but" to "and" and add "yet" after that or simply add "yet" after the "but", or change the "but" to "yet" and add "now" after that; the use of "belov'd" in the last line is a rather obvious ploy to make the line fit, so since you probably don't want to rewrite the entire poem you should change the "does" in the last line to "doth" keeping the language consistent in that end line, change it to "beloved" and remove the "my" and add an s to "gleam" making it "gleams", or make all the end lines archaic, the first end line could be "The clamor, it tastes like a bitter rind" ,"The clamor doth taste as bitterest rind", or "The clamor tastes as (or like) the bitter of rind", the second end line could become "my heart doth yearn for solitude's soothings" ,"For the shade of solitude, my heart yearns" or "And too the soothing of solitude's shade" linking it with the previous line, and then the last line would be "In belov'd solitude, my soul doth gleam."


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I loved the 'belov'd' practically no one talks like that anymore.
AMAZING WRITE!! I loved it ^_^

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on December 16, 2008
Last Updated on January 7, 2009

Author

Guardian
Guardian

AZ



About
I live in Arizona where the sun is always shining. Writing has always been my passion. I love to read and write. I'm also involved in drama and music. I write a variety of things. Everything from poet.. more..

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