Emotions - an abstract fallacy

Emotions - an abstract fallacy

A Poem by the_stoic
"

after reeling through so much of turmoil i have really started questioning the existence of emotions ...

"

"I am emotional too" is what thou say
Yet compassion is a forbidden virtue , thou always portray .

Herein lies a person who cried his heart out for your sake
Did you by any means gauge his tears to be fake ?

You help others with complicacies in their love life
Then why is it that you let your own , get replete with strife ?

Love isn't a child's play ; in the course of our lives its presence does matter
Yet with your own hands you shatter his dreams that he had showcased before you on a platter .

Mistakes he has done , none of which he denies
The punishments are but being overdone , as silent tears he cries .

You bring him in , just to throw him out
Time and again obliterating him , as if he is a wretched lout .

How can you forget the times when he stood by you
Except out of love , what else is there to construe ?

Today as he is battling to somehow stay alive
All he gets from you is a token of painful jibes !

Truly emotions are an abstract fallacy , a wholesome lie
Rather than get intertwined in this web , i would have preferred to simply die ...

© 2010 the_stoic


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"Compassion is a forbidden virtue" - Well put ;) But avoid repeating words atleast in the consecutive lines (Thou) :)

Second line of the fourth stanza was too big, you can shorten it, just so it fits in with the other lines.

"Emotions are an abstract fallacy" - Though I don't accept with the fact, I should say it's beautifully written. :D

Lastly, the message is easily conveyed.. and that's what one wants from a poem (Apart from the imagery and rhyme, of course).

PS. I love using archaic words too ;) If you're interested, go here : http://phrontistery.info/archaic.html :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Amazing write! Keep it at it. :P

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sometimes emotions are ridicule! I feel that too at times, think we all do, if only there was some sort of cut off mechanism to survive! lol
Beautifully portrayed love!
xx

Posted 13 Years Ago


You've written both an insightful and richly woven tome to this notion of emotions, their reality and their impact on us. There is a depth they can give us in life, and yet also a profound pain... You've brought up so many questions and issues we must all face every day.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Painful. Really painful. Your writes always carry the hues of the pain of broken dreams. You always write your heart out everytime.
Emotions do matter, mate. I hope you do come out of this turmoil.

Posted 13 Years Ago


It sounds so familiar, and I feel the pain you share through your words. I hope you realize doing want you want and need for yourself to be happy is all that matters! I can relate, to be in a relationship that is not real...I would much rather die. Peace be with you ~ Judi

Posted 13 Years Ago


Please stoic….
I can feel the pain in you….
Please do not make me too…
Bleed in pain….
Because…your lines are like sharp edged swords…



Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i agree with dinesh, alittle bit to much repeating, but the rest is amazing

Posted 13 Years Ago


I like this one to you write very well "Truly emotions are an abstract fallacy a wholesome lie" I love that line well written

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I know these feelings well. sometimes the people we love are incapable of loving us back. It hurts. I really understand your pain and the way that you work through it. Keep writing. You will get to a better place.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It is awful to be in love with someone who doesn't seem to care back. It is like being in a pit with no bottom or top. This was a great write of emotions and feelings.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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765 Views
14 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on May 5, 2010
Last Updated on May 27, 2010
Tags: emotions, love, heart break

Author

the_stoic
the_stoic

India



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i won't go about describing myself cause it'll end up as a self deprecatory saga .. my poems are there to speak for me . yesterday mp3 | lyricsfree music downloads | music videos | pictures Guda.. more..

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