Salvation

random thoughts that flowed by as i was getting drenched in the rain ..

The rain droplets fervently splatter on my head
letting me know that nature holds me in good stead.

Titillating my skin as they trickle down
relieving me from all that often makes me frown.

I watch the roses spread out their petals in haste
as with streaks of crystals they begin to get laced.

Birds cuddle together while getting drenched
reminding me of my desire that's still unquenched.

With so much of love and life blossoming all around
the mantra for supreme bliss is now truly found...

Reviews

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

I loved this.. the length is apt.Your vocabulary is amazing.I like the last line which says the mantra for bliss has been found.Indeed when there is so much of love that is imbued in nature itself why do we only wallow ourselves in regrets and self pity of a love lost.

[Ruth]

Of all the water around the self in the earth's quenching, we can still be thirsty! lol As they say, you can be lonely in a crowded room lol

Beautiful poem :)

Observation of the elements brings the most lush visions!

xx

[Adelia Alighieri]

"Birds cuddle together while getting drenched
reminding me of my desire that's still unquenched." - perfect.

Great imagery.

[Tate Morgan]

YOUR BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[deeps]

Such a lovely write here. This is amazing!!

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

beautiful composition and deeply thoughtful meditation~ the kiss of rain pours such clarity through the human mind as it caresses the form~

[Cynthia]

Love this really much.

[Lydia Blackwell]

I love poems about the rain. I think it is subject so beautiful that it's lure could never be exhausted. You are a good poet. Having said that, I think sometimes your language could be more fine tuned to make you a better poet. in this line:

I watch the roses spread out their petals in haste
as with streaks of crystals they begin to get laced.

I think the last line might read better as : they are becoming laced. "begin to get" does not flow quite as smoothly as other phrases would.

so, just a small suggestion- hope you don't mind. Otherwise, it is beautiful. I am a huge fan of yours. I like the way you think of things and the attention you pay to details.
-Lydia