The Tunnel

The Tunnel

A Poem by Shalini R

I see art in the fields

And greened hills

Where heaven meets earth

Intertwines in the leaves

And leaves a tampered canvas.

Beyond what I can see from my train window

Are layers of land

Layers laid hand by hand

With iron and steel, stolen

From the strength of mountains.

The sun hears the quiet murmurs of earth

Blinds the train tracks

     and then

Night.

© 2008 Shalini R


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I like how you show me what you see out the train window, and then how you counter the natural world with the man-made elements. So fine these lines: "Layers laid hand by hand
With iron and steel, stolen
From the strength of mountains"

It's as if you are thinking & feeling in layers, too.

The idea of earth as "tampered canvas" comes through strongly. I am senstive to this also.

The last lines almost shock me with intensity - a good shock, like being stunned by beauty (flash of sunset), only in this piece it holds more, like the sun is dousing the "murmering earth", and even the travelers are thrust into "night". When I read visuals mixed with subtle metaphor like this I feel like singing! Thank you!

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




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Roy
"Layers laid hand by hand

With iron and steel, stolen

From the strength of mountains."

Uber! Thanks for sharing!

Posted 14 Years Ago


nice poem about the tunnel, simple and good, well pictured, good choice of words!

Posted 14 Years Ago


I like how you show me what you see out the train window, and then how you counter the natural world with the man-made elements. So fine these lines: "Layers laid hand by hand
With iron and steel, stolen
From the strength of mountains"

It's as if you are thinking & feeling in layers, too.

The idea of earth as "tampered canvas" comes through strongly. I am senstive to this also.

The last lines almost shock me with intensity - a good shock, like being stunned by beauty (flash of sunset), only in this piece it holds more, like the sun is dousing the "murmering earth", and even the travelers are thrust into "night". When I read visuals mixed with subtle metaphor like this I feel like singing! Thank you!

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a nice one, beautifully crafted into words and symbols.
I like it.

Regards,
rupam

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really like this as well, Well crafted write here.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Is the "Night" metaphorical, regarding the effects of going through a train tunnel?

This is a pleasant read; lovely descriptions, great flow and thoughtful observation.
Thanks for posting it; i enjoyed this.

"Are layers of land
Layers laid hand by hand
With iron and steel, stolen
From the strength of mountains." - the whole piece is good, but this middle section runs so smoothly and combines clarity with imagery; well-crafted.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Charming poem
Maria

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 29, 2008

Author

Shalini R
Shalini R

black hole, MD



About
The name's Shalini, I'm addicted to wrecklessness. DOT, not feathers. I'm kind of a strange colabaration of ridiciously fun-loving [sadly sometimes without weighing the cost] and an old soul. I am .. more..

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