A light in the dark

A light in the dark

A Poem by H4zem
"

This is the first poem I wrote, it's based on an Inside/Outside poem style of writing, and it talks about how the world is a dark place where people stay inside their homes wishing for joy.

"

Outside/Inside Poem

By: H4zem


Outside skyscrapers cover up the dark night sky 

Inside i'm reading fictional books as I sigh


Outside the world is gloomy and dark

Inside I hear my neighbors dog bark


Outside the city sky is covered with layers of smog 

Inside my only friend is my pet frog 


Outside the world is filled with death, dreamers, and dystopia

Inside i'm living conscious of my upsetting reality 


Outside the world will never be how it was before 

Inside people are wishing for it to be a little more of something to adore

© 2022 H4zem


Author's Note

H4zem
I would love some feedback on my poem and tips on where to improve. I hope that one day I could write more and more poems for a bigger audience.

My Review

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Featured Review

A poem with a difference and that makes it a special read for me tonight. The rhyming is also brisk except in the 4rth verse where you have not rhymed. Is there a reason you chose not to? Overall, your poem has a lovely concept and the outside inside worlds are very interesting. Keep posting 🙋‍♀️

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

H4zem

1 Week Ago

Thanks so much for your interest in my work, I was attempting to go for a rhyme in the fourth verse .. read more
DIVYA

1 Week Ago

Your are most welcome:)
Please keep trying and the words and rhymes will come eventually. To.. read more
H4zem

1 Week Ago

Thank you so much for your encouragement and feedback!



Reviews

Such a contrast here between the outside world and the inside. It reminded me very much of the insular lives many were leading under lockdown rules. The outside was a gloomy dark, unsafe place at times while the inside may have been safer, but far from ideal. Keep writing and more so reading other poets will help you progress.

Chris

Posted 1 Week Ago


This is a nice first submission. Keep on writing and don't stop. Write about anything and everything that inspires you. Writing and time is the best way to improve on your art. Thank you for sharing your poem with us.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

H4zem

1 Week Ago

Thank you so much for these kind words. Everyone
has their own ways to feel free and be at ea.. read more
Wow! this is such an inspiring poem... it's really touching and special. The words are interesting and I would love to see more of your writing, I can't believe this is your first poem! You have raw talent and I'm excited to see future writing pieces 😄

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

H4zem

1 Week Ago

Thank you so much your feedback really means a-lot to me. I really tried to connect with the reader .. read more
A poem with a difference and that makes it a special read for me tonight. The rhyming is also brisk except in the 4rth verse where you have not rhymed. Is there a reason you chose not to? Overall, your poem has a lovely concept and the outside inside worlds are very interesting. Keep posting 🙋‍♀️

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

H4zem

1 Week Ago

Thanks so much for your interest in my work, I was attempting to go for a rhyme in the fourth verse .. read more
DIVYA

1 Week Ago

Your are most welcome:)
Please keep trying and the words and rhymes will come eventually. To.. read more
H4zem

1 Week Ago

Thank you so much for your encouragement and feedback!

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4 Reviews
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Added on January 11, 2022
Last Updated on January 11, 2022
Tags: #Myfirstpoem #Alightinthedark #H

Author

H4zem
H4zem

Toronto, Canada



About
Hi my name is Hazem, I'm 14 years old I recently got into writing. I always write my thoughts down and I enjoy writing poems. I've been looking for a new hobby for a while and I found out that I reall.. more..

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