Once I Fell In Love

Once I Fell In Love

A Story by ForTheWorld
"

Once i fell in love with a man who sacrificed everything just to let me live and love him forever

"
Once, i fell in love with a man who has nothing but has everything. Nothing for he is not rich - he has no car, he has no villa nor any real estate property. He has no decent nor permanent salary but despite that, he has my heart and he owns my whole world. I don't know, I fell in love with a man who has a life with no direction - no goals or dreams. I fell in love with a man with a heart of stone - so cruel yet so kind. Always burdening himself with others. Telling them to shut up and then load the whole damn reality in his shoulders. He always wanted them to dream but I always wonder why he doesn't have one? Because he knows reality more than they do? He knows how cruel it is?


I believe every person who comes into your life has a reason. God knows that and I too. But maybe he is the only exception, I don't know why he entered my life. He is definitely not my type. He's not the man I'm dreaming of. HE. 

WHY HIM?

Once, i fell in love with a man who then broke my heart in the end of this story. I fell in love with a man who made a big effort to win not the entire human race sympathy but mine instead. And I gladly admit, I fell in love with a man who sacrificed his heart just to let me live and love him forever.

© 2015 ForTheWorld


Author's Note

ForTheWorld
This is an edited piece...i fell in love a long time ago and I have fallen so deep that i haven't recognize the error of this piece. I hope i'm done fixing everything about it. So, tell me what you think :)

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jb
I always love these kind of stories...great job!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Hmmm very interesting. First off I think this is more a prose than a story (semantics I know). I think...you need to play around with punctuation a bit. There doesn't seem to be much direction in the way of this piece (which pieces don't necessarily need too) even though you seem to be leading up to something. If anything this could be a reflective kind of piece...adding snapshots of scenes showing this love.

I am a bit confused that you said "he has a heart of stone" and yet the paradox is he tries to make you happy and sacrifices his heart for you. Maybe a transition point a moment of where he metamorphosed to be willing to break that heart of stone would help understand the piece more?

This piece probably just needs to be looked at once more and really thought through so that the true nature and message that you are trying to convey comes through...May I suggest you look at another writer (Coyote Poetry) on here whom I think you might find interesting. I think his style is kind of what you are looking to encapsulate.

Good luck and keep writing!
LW

Posted 8 Years Ago



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2 Reviews
Added on June 25, 2012
Last Updated on June 4, 2015

Author

ForTheWorld
ForTheWorld

pangasinan, 1, Philippines



About
write, yeah, it is not the only thing my life is composed of, but when reality stroke really bad, it is the last I want to live without, well of course, families and air plus food and water are great .. more..

Writing
human human

A Story by ForTheWorld