Mystery Man

Mystery Man

A Story by Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )

Once upon a time, a man , no one knew what his name was, or  where did he come from?  Or anything about him…!

Most people knew that he is a good caring man. He always wore a  white vest with a cap that hides his features and the glow of his face that used to brighten up the street's dark,he looked  fine , as the people who have seen him say ..

He used to walk everywhere , in the narrow street's alleys , in the wood, and inside our houses too , some of them  were able to see him , and many others couldn't…

He is a light touch of caring… His joy was in drawing a smile on a poor child's dirty face… in sitting with an old woman listening to her faded stories … He always looked for those who needed him more than any other… he heard their sobs , their cold whispers between day and night… he heard their running tears …their wounded hearts and feelings…

He looked for us in our darkest moments … In our weakness, in our frustration  

He was delightful by helping us " the strange people"

Wiping the misery of faces lived on the streets, in dark alleys, in a Dumpster ...People who made street their last hope…

He reached his hand for a desperate teenager who wants to end his wretched being, by a jump off a roof , or by the sharpness of a blade that kissing his veins passionately …

He dried the tears of a wounded lover, a crying mother in the memory of her child's death

He tried to fix our bled hearts by a gentle touch of him…

He was and still around us when we crave his touch  … He has always drawn a smile upon our tears and grief… he is the invisible touch.. The sightless man … Who comes and goes ,and no one can see him, but the people who believe in him…

This man... Is called "Hope"










 

© 2013 Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )


Author's Note

Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )
Its my first trial to write a story in English , any suggestions , please review :)

My Review

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Featured Review

It's a bit difficult to fully critique this considering English is not your first language. I can't imagine how difficult it is to write in a second language, but hopefully, I can get some minor points across.

I really enjoyed this piece! I wouldn't call it a story though. I might call it a fable? It can possibly even be warped into a fairy tale. Even though some of your wordings were a bit off, I understood what was going on and what you struggled to describe at times.

This could even be the start of a much bigger piece if you'd like? The character is highly likable. We (your readers) would like some dialogue too.

Just some quick advice, read as many popular novels as you can that are in English! That will help your wording out a lot.

98/100

Take care!
--Christoph Poe

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Christoph Poe

7 Years Ago

English, so I hear, is a difficult language to learn to speak much less speak creatively! You deserv.. read more
Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )

7 Years Ago

Will i have to disagree with you in this point chris , English it can't be difficult at all , in fac.. read more
Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )

7 Years Ago

And thank you for your sweet wishes ^_^



Reviews

You did a very good job Hadeel, the story was lovely. I do find it difficult to review the writing of those whose first language is not English. Sometimes the phrasing and grammar if off, yet I hate to be critical, as I can only imagine how difficult it must be to write in a language that is not your own. For that reason, I try to only comment on the overall message and feelings expressed.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much LA for your sweet words :) I know exactly what you mean , English its my second la.. read more
It's such a beautiful story....with such a beautiful message....and totally loved the ending...when we finally come to know who the mystery man is....the story is really touching!!!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )

7 Years Ago

Thank you ^_^ Its very nice to hear that ;)
Akshita Thareja

7 Years Ago

u'r welcome :)
Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )

7 Years Ago

:)
touches my heart deeply.. as I know it will others that read this beautiful story ! Oh You did very well Hadeel....Very Well ! ( :

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )

7 Years Ago

Oh really !! thank you i am so glad you liked it and felt in every word :)
This is good! the ending surprised me "This man is called hope" lol i was trying to figure out who it was, honestly #GreatJob!:-)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )

7 Years Ago

Wow i am really impressed ^_^ Thank you , he is hope see :P

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680 Views
14 Reviews
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Added on February 1, 2013
Last Updated on February 2, 2013
Tags: mystery, hope, sad, poor, misery

Author

Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )
Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )

Amman, Jordan



About
I am a girl with a huge ambition, I know how to express my feelings very well , And i can do it either by writing or drawing. but recently i am heading to write more and more , and i hope that i could.. more..

Writing

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