The Carousel

The Carousel

A Poem by Frances Smart
"

Life in the freak show

"

 

The Carousel
 
Round and round and round we go
Up and down and
Round and round
Except that you were standing
And I was being held
By the ends of my hair
 
My mother stood there
Shouting at you
To put me down
But you didn’t listen
You just swung me all the harder
 
And in the end
It was all my fault
Because you asked me a question
And I pointedly ignored you
And so you lifted me
Out of my dining chair
By the ends of my hair
 
Like some kind of crazy waltz
Where you are the only one dancing
And I’m just along for the ride
My father was demanding
That you put me down
And my mother was screaming at me
For provoking you
 
And I was flying through the air
Like an aerialist without a trapeze
Landing in a heap at my father’s feet
He lifted me
Oh so gently
And carried me to my room
Telling me he would take care of it
 
Which he did
Until the next time
When you picked me up by my throat
And slammed me against a wall
And so it went
 
Until I was eighteen
And you had chased my father away
Because he couldn’t defend me
But somewhere along the way
I learned to defend myself
 
And then, to my surprise
When I was grown and on my own
You found your faith
I didn’t believe you at first
How could God save someone
Who had so totally devastated my life
 
But I saw that you really walked out
Your faith when you asked me to forgive you
And we became friends
So much that two years later
I was surprised to find
That I missed you when you left
 
And now I wonder
If there are carousels in heaven
 

 

 

 

© 2008 Frances Smart


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Featured Review

Wow! a deep and powerful write, being abused as a young girl and carrying those scars with you, then learning how to forgive that person, when they changed their ways and turned to God, but i feel a bit of doubt in your mind, maybe guilt, that sometimes lingers onto adulthood when someone is abused. Your last two lines bring that out in this piece.
Tony

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Wow! this was truly a heartfelt piece. You unearth the memories of your past when you abused as a child by your dad (or stepdad, I really didn't understand who that "dad" person was) and your mom did nothing but provoked it. Personally, I would never find the strength to forgive someone who neglected me when I needed her the most, but you did, that is courage and strength right there, and to be able to write about it with such divinity and dignity is talent in the making. But, I guess we all do find inner strength somewere, and for you it seems to be through writing and living to tell the tale. Great piece! Keep the pen flowing !

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow. Absolutely the best poem I have read on this site to date. It was very remarkably written. The drastic change from light-heartedness to horror by the end of the first stanza was great. It was masterful, and I could feel the emotion throughout, even at the turn-around, when the abuser is born again in Christ, and begged for forgiveness. Amazing and powerful.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A poem about abuse, not a fun subject. The act of forgiveness, one of the most powerful things a person can do to overcome their demons, and to move on. Nicely written.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

having faith is very important at least to me hes saved me and has helped me in so many different ways. It hurt to hear what you was feeling I just wanted to talk to you in person. some people feel the lord allows bad to happen to us but he don't. Its the world that does.I sometimes believe here on earth is hell cause of all the bad things that happen to us and others. your writting is very good thank you for sharing this with me.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a very good piece...how you incorporate your life's troubles and difficulties in a rather unusual way...Like how your father was your rescuer..your mother you tormentor..even so your father could not do eveything...for your mother chased him away..such a touching story..the big mystery is the end..do you suggest that he is not in heaven....and thus there are no carousels...just a thought....

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked this very very much. The beginning stanzas reminded me of the whimsical poetry of Shel Silverstein, especially with the juvenile symbol of the carousel. Then it descended into something darker, moving away from something that seems almost comical and lightly-put in nature to something brooding, a bad experience put into words - something one couldn't escape from. Then, a resolution, with the last three stanzas; changing into something beautiful. A feeling of forgiveness washes over it. And then, what grabbed me most of all were the last two lines:

"And now I wonder
If there are carousels in heaven"

The sweetest touch to a masterpiece, like (pardon me for my fatty thoughts) a cherry atop a sundae.
Lovely.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Truly spiritual...connecting the realities of doubt with unexpectedly happy endings.

And the metaphor is perfect...

Very nice...!

Daniel

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I loved this. How you have the guy go through a revalation was astounding

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow! a deep and powerful write, being abused as a young girl and carrying those scars with you, then learning how to forgive that person, when they changed their ways and turned to God, but i feel a bit of doubt in your mind, maybe guilt, that sometimes lingers onto adulthood when someone is abused. Your last two lines bring that out in this piece.
Tony

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on July 4, 2008
Last Updated on July 10, 2008

Author

Frances Smart
Frances Smart

Charlotte, NC



About
I'm divorced, 46, a ten-year military veteran with two college degrees, one in English education and one in theology. I am the non-custodial parent of two delightful children, and girl and a boy, ages.. more..

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