Chapter Four: Innocent and Ignorant (Christian Cassidy)

Christian worries over his sister's attraction to Jasper, a troubled young boy.

March, 2013

I stand in the kitchen, my hands on either side of the sink, peering out the window into the pasture. Jasper is teaching Molly how to milk a cow, and I can't help but think doing so doesn't require quite so much intimacy.

He has his hands on her arms, and she's grinning like I've never seen her do before. Her brunette curls bounce as she laughs at whatever he's saying. It pains me that I've never been capable of making her smile and laugh like that, yet some stranger can.

It makes me nervous, having her here. She's been so sheltered her entire life. She's lived in a soap bubble, and this boy is about to burst it.

Rayna comes up behind me, and peeks over my shoulder. She sighs and shakes her head.

"Instead of spying on my son and your little sister, why don't you make yourself useful and do some of my dishes." She suggests.

I sigh but set to work. I absentmindedly fill an empty dish with hot water and soap, and dunk a rag into it. I pick up a dirty plate and begin to wipe it down.

"I'm glad you came here." Rayna says quietly. She stands beside me, and grabs a towel. She starts to dry the dishes that I've rinsed off and set aside. "I know you're worried, but it's good for Molly to have someone so close to her own age to interact with."

I look at her. "There's something I want to make very clear." I enunciate. "Jaden and Molly are the only people in this world who matter to me; they're all I have. I can't protect Jaden from the truth; he's already one of us; but I can still protect Molly, and I intend to."

"You never told her?" Rayna nearly drops the plate she's drying out of surprise.

"No." I reply curtly. Something occurs to me. "Does Jasper know?"

"Yes." She says quietly. "We had to tell him, because...He's...He was turned."

Horror fills me. I drop the bowl I was holding. It falls to the floor and shatters. I bend down to collect the pieces and toss them into the nearby wastebasket.

"I apologize." I say genuinely. I feel bad for the broken bowl.

"It's alright. I know that came as a bit of a shock to you." She says easily.

"How?" I ask. I'm being rude by inquiring how her child was turned, but I'm curious.

"It was me." She confesses. She hangs her head in shame. "It was an accident. I never meant for him to have this life. We had to pull him from school when it happened. It was about a year ago. He came home late, and he was drunk. He was only fifteen at the time, and he'd been out boozing with his friends. When he came stumbling home at two in the morning, the night of a full moon, I was so furious that I transformed and attacked him. There's no excuse for it. I've been a wolf for almost four decades; I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. I knew better."

I shudder. If Rayna still can't control herself, and she turned her own son, then what guarantee is there that I won't one day do the same to Molly? No. I'll die before I turn her.

It makes me nervous that my baby sister is out in the pasture with a hormonal teenage...werewolf. I finally allow myself to think the word. It's what I am; what Jaden is; what the Cunninghams are.

"What number is he?" I ask.

"As far as I know, he's the thirty third. There haven't been any others since you and your brother." She replies. "At least my sources within the Pack haven't reported any."

"You told Jaden they still want Molly." I say quietly. I don't want to know this, but I have to. I hand her a glass to dry; the last of the dishes. I start to place the dried, stacked ones back into the cupboard. "But it doesn't make any sense. She can't be the thirty first."

"Not unless they kill Jasper, Jaden, and you." She murmurs. She sounds so casual, as though the death of her own son and her friend's sons are nothing.

My hands clench, and the bowl I'm holding cracks. "That will never happen." I whisper darkly. "They won't touch a hair on Jaden's head. Or Molly's." I swear. I look down at the bowl. "I'm sorry." I say again.

She raises her eyebrows. She takes the bowl from my hands. "It's alright." She assures me.

"Do you think that would really work?" I implore anxiously. "Even if they kill all three of us, she still won't be the thirty first one to be turned."

"I don't know." She replies honestly. "But we have to assume it's possible."

"Jasper can't tell her." I say forcefully.

She glares at me. "He won't."

"She likes him." I observe. It shouldn't bother me as much as it does. I should be pleased she's happy. Why can't I be? Right, because the boy she's enamored with is one of us.

I gaze out the window again, but I don't see them, and my anxiety spikes. I try to steady my breathing and calm my nerves. Every time I let Molly out of my sight, something bad seems to happen to her.

"Of course she does." Rayna says in response to my comment. "He's the first person her own age, and the first male that she's not blood related to, that she's ever known. It's only natural that she's attracted to him, and...curious. It's entirely innocent, Christian; on both sides."

I snort at her choice of wording. "Jasper doesn't sound so innocent to me." I wasn't drinking at his age. I'm over thirty, and I've never even had a single sip of alcohol.

At his age I became the patriarch of my little, broken family.

"My son has matured greatly in this past year; he's had to." She tells me in a hard voice.

"If anything happens to Molly..." I trail off suggestively.

"You and your family are my guests here." She reminds me. "I'd appreciate it if you did not insinuate things about my son. He's very well behaved. He'd never do anything to Molly. You have my word."

I am thinking how her word is not sufficient enough to reassure me, but I don't say that aloud. She's right, after all; we're her guests.

"It was very kind and generous of you to allow my brother, sister, and I to stay here." I say appreciatively. "And you're right; it will be good for Molly to have someone her own age; and for her to have you as well."

"Me?" She queries.

"Molly is fifteen. I've been worried for the past couple of years about when she...When she gets her period." I crinkle my nose. "I wouldn't know what to do." It isn't that the blood bothers me, only that I would be lost about how to help her.

She smiles. "It's a shame the girl doesn't have her mother to help her through that." She says softly.

I growl. "She's better off without Sarah; we all are." I say bitingly. "If she knew what Sarah tried to do...What she would have done if Jaden and I hadn't intervened..." I shake my head in disgust. I once loved my mother, but I no longer do. I made my choice that night; I chose Molly.

"I'm not asking you to be the mother she never had." I clarify. "But if you could teach her how to...what to do when she gets her period...I'd appreciate it."

"Of course." She agrees. "I'd be delighted to help Molly."

I nod my gratitude.

"Do you think you're really so nervous about Molly and Jasper becoming close because my son is one of us, or because some part of you is afraid you'll lose her?" She asks me then.

I am affronted by the question. "Molly knows where she belongs." I reply. I am fully aware of how angry and defensive I sound.

"Have you ever considered turning her?" She asks.

"What?"

She shrugs. "It's an honest question. I never meant to turn my son, but since I have...It's been easier. It's a burden carrying such a secret, and a great weight on you and your brother's shoulders, feeling as though it's your responsibility to protect her."

"It is my responsibility." I reply.

"You wouldn't have to if she were one of us."

"I can't do that to her." I admonish. Truthfully, it's occurred to me twice over the past thirteen years I've been raising my sister. Once for the same reason Rayna mentioned. That time the thought had been fleeting. I'd almost immediately dismissed it. The only time I seriously considered it was when Molly had been eight years old, and extremely ill...

...

August, 2006

I'm frantic. I don't know what to do. Molly is trashing in her bed, her little limbs flailing about wildly. She's burning with a fever.

I grab her arms and restrain her, holding her down. She screams like I am murdering her.

"It's alright, baby girl, it's just me." I murmur in an attempt to soothe her.

Her hazel eyes lock onto me, but they're murky and unfocused. There's fear in her gaze. She's never looked at me like that. My heart constricts at the sight. She whimpers, and it kills me, because usually a gentle caress or a soft murmur comforts her, but now it has the opposite effect.

"Please, baby girl, settle down." I plead as she continues to wail and kick at me. I know that she's beyond being reasoned with.

"Damn it!" I growl. Where is Jaden? He's supposed to be getting more wet cloths. We have to bring her fever down. It's only getting higher by the hour.

"We should have taken you to a hospital." I mutter. It's too late now. The nearest hospital is a hundred miles away, and we have no method of paying for medical treatment. I've stolen plenty over the years to provide for my family; I've become quite crafty, but I don't know how to steal a hospital stay...

She stills, and I'm momentarily relieved until it occurs to me that it isn't a good thing that the fight is leaving her. She lays there limply, her breaths coming at intervals that are spaced too far apart.

Her eyes start to close.

"No, baby girl, stay awake." I beg her. I lightly tap her cheek to rouse her. "Molly?" Fear seizes me. A cold dread forms a cage around my heart. I can't lose her. I won't. I close my eyes and lean my head back. I know what I have to do, and I resent it with every fiber of my being. I've tried so hard to avoid it, but it might be the only way to save her. I feel my canines elongate, and I lower my head to her neck. My teeth brush her delicate skin. I can see her veins pulsing beneath of it. The transformation will be difficult, but when it is over she'll be well again. She might resent me for what I've done to her, but she'll be healthy, and that's the most important thing.

"What are you doing?" Jaden's voice cries. His strong hands grip my shoulders and yank me away from Molly. "Put those away!" He snaps at me.

I retract my canines. Shame fills me at the fierce, disgusted look in my younger brother's gaze.

"What the hell?" Jaden spits at me. "You were going to turn her? What were you thinking?"

"She's going to die unless we do something drastic!" I cry.

"Better that than she becomes one of us!" He retorts.

I am stunned speechless by his words and the sentiment they carry. He always claims he's fine with being a wolf, but he must he resent it more than I ever realized, if he'd rather our sister die than become one of us; if he sees her death as the superior alternative.

He bends down beside our sister, who has drifted off. He places a fresh, cool wet cloth on her forehead, and her eyes flutter open.

"Hey, baby girl." He murmurs to her. "Go to sleep. Everything will be alright when you wake up." He tells her.

I am astonished to hear him utter those words; the same ones he once told me were a lie.

She allows her eyes to close again. She is asleep seconds later.

Envy fills me. He was able to alleviate her distress, whereas I only served to aggravate it.

I slump down onto my bed and bury my face in my hands.

"What do we do?" I moan.

Jaden looks at me briefly, then returns his gaze to Molly.

"We wait." He says softly. "And we pray..."

...

March 2013

"Christian." Rayna calls my name, jarring me out of my memories.

I blink at her. "Hmm?" I murmur, embarrassed that I've zoned out.

"Are you alright?" She asks me. She sounds worried.

I hesitate. "Yeah," I say finally. I scrub a hand over my face. "Yeah, I'm good."

I still can't believe how close I came to doing the unthinkable; the irreversible. I shudder and thank God Jaden returned at the exact moment he did and stopped me. If he hadn't...I can't allow my thoughts to travel there. My sweet, innocent sister becoming a werewolf like myself is simply too horrible. I have to believe there is still some good in this world. I see that good in Molly, and I refuse to allow anything to corrupt it.

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denise

I'm really enjoying this so far. The only constructive criticism I could offer is that I notice a lot of your sentences begin with "I…. " A simple structure change, in my opinion, would pull the reader in more. It's just feeling too repetitive. Of course we all have our own styles. Please keep going with this! I am the type who closes the book after the first few pages if it does not hold my attention. There's many books on this site that I started to read and just went on to another due to a lack of momentum or creativity. I am going to read the other chapters you have up as soon as I get my boys to bed! I too, am writing a book, and I hope to post some chapters within a week or so. I would love it if you had some time to read them and give me your honest opinion! Great job thus far! I'm looking forward to what comes next!