Chapter Fourteen: A Mother's Lack of Love

The return of Sarah Cassidy.

September, 2013

            I'm awoken one cold, late September night by a long, low howl. I jerk upright in my bed. A quick sweep of the bedroom confirms I'm the only one to have been woken up by the bone chilling noise.

            There is another, louder howl, but still my brothers do not stir. I stand and quickly dress. It's raining outside, and tiny droplets splash against the windowsill. It's been a rather dreary day.

            Since my transformation, I've found myself spending more and more time outdoors. Inside the cabin I feel like a caged animal, while out in the woods, even in my human form, I am freer. I hate when the weather keeps me indoors, and the days are steadily growing shorter with the coming winter.

            I contemplate waking my brothers. I shouldn't go out to face what I'm certain is a fellow werewolf alone. It is unwise given how much the Pack wants me, and what they intend to do with me once I'm in their clutches.

            Another, more impatient sounding howl tears through the night air, beckoning to me. I'm a werewolf now, too. I can defend myself. Besides, it sounds as though it is a lone wolf. It could be a trap, of course; there could be others remaining silent to mislead me about their numbers; but something about the tone of the howl is oddly familiar, like a long lost companion calling me home.

            I put on Christian's jacket. It is several sizes too large for me, and I have to roll up the sleeves a couple of times to free my hands. As I do, I'm reminded of my first date with Jasper, when I was chilly and he loaned me his jacket. How innocent I was then. How naive. If only I could be again.

            I shake my head to banish the thought. It won't do me any good to reminisce on a past I can't change. On a girl I can never be again.

            I head out the front door, being mindful to turn the lock.

            I walk in the direction from which the howl originated. I have a vast appreciation for my enhanced night vision. When I was human and wandered the woods at night, I tripped over every rock and fallen tree branch. Now that isn't an issue.

            I come upon the clearing where my brothers and I encountered the deer during my first hunt as a werewolf. What waits for me is not the wolf I expected, but rather a tall, lithe woman with graying curly hair, pale skin, and hazel eyes. Or, rather, one eye is hazel. The other one is white. She's blind in that eye, I realize with a start.

            She smiles at me as she approaches, then stops a few feet away.

            I take a few steps back. I want to keep a careful distance between myself and this woman who I know is not as innocent, nor as human, as she appears to be.

            "Do you know who I am?" She asks me in a voice that is as low and melancholy as her howl.

            "I know what you are." I reply. I wish that I do know the who as well as the what. Not knowing leaves me at a disadvantage.

            "Take a closer look, Molly." She encourages me.

            I don't move an inch, but gazing into the woman's eye, the one that mirrors my own and Jaden's, I know.

            "You're Sarah Cassidy. You're my mother."

            Sarah nods. "My white eye is courtesy of your father. Unfortunately for him, the bullet wasn't silver."

            There are so many things I want to ask her. I blurt out the first one that comes to mind; "Why did you kill him?"

            "Because he was weak." She replies. She narrows her eyes at me. "Something's different about you." She notes.

            "It's been well over a decade since the night you tried to kill me and turned my brothers." I snarl at her. "I grew up, despite your best efforts to prevent such from happening."

            "No, that's not what I meant." She shakes her head.

            I'm filled with disgust. She didn't even try to deny my accusations.

            "There's something inherently different about you..." She moves towards me again, and I take several more steps backwards out of her reach.

            I close my eyes and summoned up all of my strength and concentration to make my canines sharpen and extend, and my claws appear. I open my eyes and smirk at my mother. I wave my hand in front of her face. I'm certain that if I looked into a mirror, I would see that my eyes are bright yellow.

            "Do you mean my new assets?" I inquire a bit smugly.

            She gasps. "So you have been turned! Which one was it; Christian or Jaden?"

            I retract my claws and teeth. "Neither." I reply. "It was Jasper Cunningham." Just speaking his name hurts. I wonder if it will ever not hurt. I don't think so.

            "Ah, your boyfriend." She murmurs.

            I bristle. "What do you know about Jasper and I?" I demand in a menacing growl.

            "Rayna was an informant for the Pack." She informs me, just as smug as I was a moment ago. "She told us everything that you and Jasper did."

            My breath catches as I recall what Jaden said the day my transformation began. They were threatening all of us, but you especially. Apparently Rayna wasn't a former Pack member as she claimed; she was still loyal to them. Rayna was the closest thing I had to a mother, but she betrayed me, just as my own did.

            Sarah continues. "One day, the reports mysteriously stopped coming. When the Pack sent several wolves out to the farmhouse, they claimed you and your brothers were there, but the Cunninghams were nowhere to be found."

            "Christian and Jaden killed them." I say quietly. 

            "How convenient of them to do the Pack's work for us." Sarah murmurs.

            "What are you talking about?" I demand.

            "Three werewolves are dead, and with each one's death you descend farther down in the line of succession. Only live werewolves count in the turning order. Which means you are now effectively the thirty first." She smiles at me, but it isn't a warm, tender, motherly smile. It's cold and cruel. Just like her.

            "I thought you left the Pack." I say. I take another step back, and my back is pressed up against the trunk of a tree at the edge of the clearing. My mother stalks forward.

            "I thought that was why you tried to kill me; so that I couldn't be used in the ritual of the thirty first; so that Ruem couldn't be raised."

            "I did desert the Pack, and that is why I tried to kill you." She replies. "But I've since had a change of heart.

            "Molly, I know it may seem cruel at first, to turn everyone and abolish humanity, but...Ultimately Ruem's curse is no curse at all, but rather a blessing. Werewolves are powerful; we're strong and agile. We're a perfected form of God's original creation. Don't you see? Ruem only wants to share his gift with everyone rather than a select few, but he can only do that with your help. With your sacrifice, everyone will be equal.

            "Most people live their lives ordinarily, and they die meaningless deaths. You were born with a purpose, Molly. Your death will not be in vain; it will bring about a new and better era. You are a part of something incredible."

            My claws come back out and dig into the tree, ripping off the top layer of bark. "You've completely lost your mind!" I cry. "They've brainwashed you!"

            "They haven't brainwashed me, Molly, they've enlightened me." She holds out her hand. I spit in her direction.        

            "Come with me, baby girl."

            "Don't call me that!" I growl. It's Christian and Jaden's special name for me. It sounds wrong coming from her mouth. I won't allow her to taint it as she has everything else in my life.

            "Come with me willingly, or we'll be forced to take...more drastic measures." She warns me ominously.

            "What does that mean?" I ask. I'm fighting to keep my voice steady.

            "It means, Molly, that we will have you, no matter how many people you or your family love that we have to hurt to get through to you."

            "You're supposed to be my family." I remind her. "But you chose the Pack over your own children."

            "Don't make us do this, Molly. Come with me, or you'll come to regret it."

            "You can't hurt me." I say with confidence. "All Christian, Jaden and I have is each other. Your threats are empty ones."

            "You forget that they had lives before you, Molly." She murmurs. "You weren't always the center of their universe, difficult as that might be for you to comprehend. You also forget that you had a life before them.

            "Pain isn't only physical, Molly. Your brothers shouldn't have to suffer because of your selfishness."

            I glare at her. "How did you even find me?" I demand.

            She shakes her head and sighs. "We're wolves, Molly. We have an enhanced sense of smell and sight; excellent for tracking. Surely you know that. You can go to the ends of the earth, but we will find you."

            I clench my hands into fists. The tips of my claws dig painfully into the palms of my hands. "I'm not going with you." I say firmly.

            My mother shakes her head. "So stubborn." She sighs. "This is your last chance, Molly; I won't offer you again. Come with me."

            "Go to hell!" I retort. "You can join Ruem there."

            She nods sadly. "I thought that might your answer." She falls down onto her knees and plants her hands on the hard packed earth. "I'm sorry it's the case. Know that you're making a mistake.

            "The Pack will be pleased to hear how quickly you're developing. The stronger you are when it comes time for the ritual to take place, the more powerful Ruem will be when he rises." She arches her back, and lets out a cry that morphs into a howl as she transforms into a monstrous gray wolf.

            The wolf turns and disappears into the thicket of trees.

            I stand in the drizzling rain for a time, contemplating Sarah Cassidy's words.

            By the time I arrive back at the cabin, the sun has begun to rise on the horizon and I am sloshing wet. My brothers are still, thankfully, asleep.

            They both look so much younger in their sleep. So peaceful...

            I dry off, change clothes, and collapse onto my bed with a sigh. I decide against telling Christian and Jaden about our mother's visit and her implied threat. I only hope she was bluffing. If not, then I truly am as selfish as she accused me of being.