Chapter 3: No Conception of Time

I DONT KNOW.

The clouds of shame arise in my throat,

Spit it out with every lie made starting that day

Passerbys from the outside watch with their tied tongues

Doing nothing at all is worse than giving in all together

And join in their rallies against independence.

Stop, drop, and roll in the tangles of emotions

Pouring from eyes to eyes, melting down the moment.

 

Each note of this song makes my heart skip a beat,

Teetering from the side of our sober kisses to our drunk arguements.

Fold up every bruise and regret thrown, and put it in my back pocket.

Think of every May night at the woods and the lights,

And watch it all break right.

Before.

Yourself.

Every final conversation ended in "I'm fine."

Should've ended in truth.

 

So take that ornament off the tree,

It's glass and gragile, laced with ignorance.

The ignorance is so damn bliss.

Drop and you just broke yourself,

And out comes what should have been first impression,

But since when did first impression matter?

Don't look much closer, or you'll find too much of myself in this mess.

I wish you weren't afraid to find out that this is loneliness.

 

Since when was this a mirror reflection of the stranger beside you

You don't have much room to apologize,

As of now she's down the stairs and out the f*****g door

This was the person you sworn you wouldn't become

But maybe those nights of midnight tokes never got us anywhere,

But it did at the time,

And the heat of the moment is all that lasts forever, not the consiquence.

 

Let's kiss goodbye the nights in your fort in the woods,

Elliott Smith blasting through every touch made

It was the perfect distraction for the flawless mistake.

So what if you held me by the waist and kissed me like you didn't mean it

Now staple a cliche to my heart so I can handle this dissapointment

And you can save me from my old ways.

Let's light this up just one more time, I can handle one more

My body's telling me to stop and the train in my head keeps going,

Running away from one last fear that drops into my chest

It's rushing the adrenaline throughout these organized breakdowns.

I sit down and write the truth of the honest person trapped beneath the media

And my words mean nothing.

Author's Note

I'll probably forget I posted this.