At You..

At You..

A Poem by Hamza
"

another feather adding to the poem "The word You" ..

"
I had begun
To live ... To live...
With you in me...
I had begun
To learn... To learn...
With you in me...
I had begun
To find peace... Peace...
With you in me...
I had begun
To learn how to smile...
With you in me...
I had begun
To understand myself...
With you in me...
And then you departed..
With everything..
Life has no meaning...
The smile has no reason...
There's no talking to you...
There's no peace inside..
There's no place to hide...
You walk past me...
You ignore my gesture...
I've lost my reason...
My tears too have abandoned ...
I try to stabilize...
I try to seek solitude..
I try ... I try ...
It's only a matter of time..
For you .. But for me..
When I see you...
Everything seems to stop...
My smile... My thoughts...
My mind... My heart ...
I just stop ...
Stop at you...
At you ...

© 2012 Hamza


Author's Note

Hamza
tried adding something more, with little stanzas ..

My Review

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Featured Review

You know, almost every other review has called this poem "lyrical" and I'm determined to break the mold and - oh, what the heck! LYRICAL LYRICAL LYRICAL!!!
This is great!! I'm daily amazed by the insanely talented writers on this site (you're definitely one, by the way). This is beautiful and heartbreaking all at once! I love it!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hamza

8 Years Ago

:) thank you
at least for a change we have a new word for this piece ...
thank you aga.. read more



Reviews

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Eve
I love this, simply, so much emotion , really enjoyed the way you pushed the emotion into the last 3 lines.

Posted 8 Years Ago


This is so sad. :(
It's desperate. Beautifully desperate.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Beautiful poem! Nicely written. I like the flow and the repetition of words it makes it kind of persuasive. Good job!

-SkyeBlanco

Posted 8 Years Ago


Hamza

8 Years Ago

thank you for your kind words .. :)
Sunny Skye

8 Years Ago

My pleasure.
The persuasion on words by writing them twice...conveys your strong belief in what you are writing like I had begun to live....live. Very innovative and impressive.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hamza

8 Years Ago

thank you :)
i see you are magnetically attached to this word "you"
very nice poem
i loved it deeply and yeah it gives that lyrical feel
:)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hamza

8 Years Ago

haha
i'm not sure about that but the person behind this you is worth writing about ..
.. read more
I'd say its style is more mechanical than lyrical. That is not a negative judgement, just an observation about the style, and of course it could become lyrics for a song.
good one hamza

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hamza

8 Years Ago

Well, I'm not sure what mechanical would mean in this context but thank you if you think they could .. read more
Adam Whitworth

8 Years Ago

perhaps mechanical is too strong a word. I just feel that 'lyrical' means beautifully flowing wherea.. read more
Hamza

8 Years Ago

well, it was indeed written like that.. by bits...
So you're probably correct ...
We.. read more
Rythmic, heart breaking and musical. You should try to write lyrics for music if you don't already do so

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hamza

8 Years Ago

i feel really overwhelmed over this ...
i don't deserve such honor ... i don't really deserve.. read more
KarinaT

8 Years Ago

Keep writing - that's thanks enough :-)
Hamza

8 Years Ago

:)
You know, almost every other review has called this poem "lyrical" and I'm determined to break the mold and - oh, what the heck! LYRICAL LYRICAL LYRICAL!!!
This is great!! I'm daily amazed by the insanely talented writers on this site (you're definitely one, by the way). This is beautiful and heartbreaking all at once! I love it!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hamza

8 Years Ago

:) thank you
at least for a change we have a new word for this piece ...
thank you aga.. read more
I love how it's done like a song. I imagine how a man could sing this. :))

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hamza

8 Years Ago

well, when i wrote it, i never imagined it would be viewed as a song ...
but now i'm pretty s.. read more
Lunette Lariz

8 Years Ago

My pleasure. :)
Hamza, You have done yet another beautiful work!!
I was actually singing this poem. Its so like a song so lyrical!!!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hamza

8 Years Ago

that's why i always remain perplexed i guess ..
anxia

8 Years Ago

Lets hope ....
Hamza

8 Years Ago

:)

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12 Reviews
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Added on November 4, 2012
Last Updated on November 4, 2012
Tags: you, just

Author

Hamza
Hamza

Jammu, Jammu & kashmir, India



About
Hamza .. that's me .. An Engineer by profession and a writer by Emotion ... I am 26... I am no different, I am not special .. I'm just a different face, and a few different fingerprints .. I am.. more..

Writing
Sometimes ... Sometimes ...

A Poem by Hamza



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