22:15 and the clock stood still

Loneliness is painfull

The Ambulance passed by... with the boy in it.

It was evening, the clock stood still at a quarter past ten.

I wasn't there,

No. I was in the cafe. 
The boy had covered himself with red spots,
and pretended to be dead.
All my best friends were sitting beside me at the bar.
He felt lonely.
Didn't feel like it anymore...
He was Lonely

The bartender flirted with me.
His wrists were completely destroyed, they were cut
by himself
I still hung around in the cafe, my friends already went home
It was a great evening!
And now he is dead.

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems please, or just tell me where the grammar mistakes are. thank you :)

Reviews

[Mysteriousmaniac]

Haha seems very familiar! :p
Only fault I can see at the moment is that writs should wrists.
I like it though. I can visualize exactly what you are writing here. That's always a good sign for me because that means it has meaning and that's what people should aim for in writing don't you think? xoxo Maniac

[Kuhr Gred]

hmmm... very interesting :) i think you don't have grammar problems.. just little editing :) by the way, GREAT WRITE! keep it up :D

[TheCreativityItself]

What should I edit then? I'm dutch and I have some trouble with finding all the mistakes I make :)

[Kuhr Gred]

I mean.. not the grammar my friend.. your structure of sentence .. :) ahha.. I don't know if you get my point.. I'm a Filipino.. and also a student so I don't know how to catch mistakes in grammar exactly.. :)

[TheCreativityItself]

I've sort of got the same problem.
I'll look at it again, thank you very much :)