Murder

Murder

A Poem by SCRIBBLER
"

Murder: What does it make you think about?

"

Last night a murder took place, occurring in my mind.

Last night a crime scene was declared, set in my heart.

Murder of my hopes, scene of crushed dreams. 

Hardened feelings, destroyed by a familiar beam.

A beam of relationships, a beam I once trusted.

A beam that now I fear may never stand again.


The crime scene was full of evidence showing selfish act.

Burnt emotions and feelings lay scattered across the ground.

With enough evidence to prove myself right.

All I needed was a jury, one with humanity and balance.

One which considered emotions over relationships.

One which considered feeling over money.

One which could get me justice. 


Last night a murder took place, occurring in my mind.

Last night a crime scene was declared, set in my heart.

Murder of my hopes, scene of crushed dreams. 

Hardened feelings, destroyed by a familiar beam.

A beam of relationships, a beam I once trusted.

A beam that now I fear may never stand again.


The marks caused by his weapon go deep with in me.

The weapons he used lie crushed under a burden.

He shards of my heart to sharp to touch.

My shattered confidence to little to hold.

My entire life reduced to a cracked mirror.

One in which even I fear to look.

I have all the weapons in my grasp.

All I need is a shoulder.

One which can share this weight that putting me down.

One on which I can cry my heart of.

But can I trust again.


Last night a murder took place, occurring in my mind.

Last night a crime scene was declared, set in my heart.

Murder of my hopes, scene of crushed dreams. 

Hardened feelings, destroyed by a familiar beam.

A beam of relationships, a beam I once trusted.

A beam that now I fear may never stand again.






I have proof, I have evidence.

Who will hear the echo of my troubles.

Who will give me justice.

I know his face, I know his status.

A masquerade, skilled in a gamble.

A gamble of emotions, the gamble of life.

A friend who will leave you in darkest times.


He said I will care for you like a brother.

But ran of, saying why bother.

I was in trouble, living on the streets.

All I needed was a place to stay, a shoulder to cry on, and a helping hand.

They all help themselves leaving me alone, saying why bother.


Last night a murder took place, occurring in my mind.

Last night a crime scene was declared, set in my heart.

I had evidence, I had proof.

Did I need a judge?

I knew him, I knew his home did I need a judge.

All I need now is a shroud.

Can you help me?





© 2015 SCRIBBLER


Author's Note

SCRIBBLER
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Reviews

.......murder is a bad decision, cause like most decisions it's final, one can't go back in time and erase their mistakes, erase their actions...excellent write! :) ★

Posted 8 Years Ago


SCRIBBLER

8 Years Ago

Thanks Princess
sunprincess

8 Years Ago

.............most welcome ★
Interesting tale narrated differently.... I hope the betrayal as well as the murder happened only inside your head

Posted 8 Years Ago


SCRIBBLER

8 Years Ago

Thanks. NO I was just feeling down so decided to write a dark poem
Awesome story buddy! Really enjoyed. Never a good feeling when you get betrayed! Good work :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


SCRIBBLER

8 Years Ago

THANKS YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is crazy good. It's intense, thought-provoking, and leaves an impact on the one who reads it. Added to favorites. :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


The feel of being betrayed by some one you truly love, admire is the worst thing in this world..
Lines revealed those feel greatly.. Loved it to the core..

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


SCRIBBLER

8 Years Ago

Thanks Kousika
betrayed by those you love, or stabbed in the back truly is a crime on ones soul! This is a great write !

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


SCRIBBLER

8 Years Ago

Much Appreciated
This is most certainly one of the most, if not THE most, intense poem I have ever come across on this website. The free-verse style you used really works well with the style of this poem, and it kept me entertained until the very last word. Fantastic job Scribbler! :)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


SCRIBBLER

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much for these kind words of recognition.
Betrayal is murder most foul... a nice write, capturing the essence of being stabbed in the back.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


SCRIBBLER

8 Years Ago

Thanks Lewdrew
SCRIBBLER

8 Years Ago

sorry Ledrew. I'm very sorry. :)
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alf
Hi Scribbler. I'm the most passive, non-aggressive person on this planet, yet my main genre is murder and mayhem, which my novels reflect in detail. My thoughts on reading your poem centred on broken promises. I have so far managed to live by my personal motto . . . say what you mean, and mean what you say . . . if it can't be said, keep quiet!! I am thinking that you have had promises made that encouraged hope within you and then when you were most in need, the rug was yanked from beneath your feet! This action is, or was, the catalyst for catastrophic feelings of abandonment . . . the murder of your soul.

The poem . . . I would remove the central refrain, opening and closing with that stanza, for me, works with more impact, especially if both were italicized. A couple of typos . . . (T)he shards . . . 3rd line 4th stanza . . . 5th line . . . confidence too . . . missing second 'o'. I liked your word choices, accusative and relevant, and damning!!

A very emotive write, raw passion and anger seethe beneath the lines, and my only other suggestion would be to italicize, or bold, several words (not too many) for added emphasis.

Let me know what you think, alf

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


SCRIBBLER

8 Years Ago

Thank you for such a deep and thoughtful review. I will try to fix up typos because I have quite a f.. read more
when a friend stabs you in the back you never get over it,great emotional write

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


SCRIBBLER

8 Years Ago

Really appreciate it!

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702 Views
14 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on April 18, 2015
Last Updated on May 1, 2015
Tags: Murder, Confidence, Betrayal

Author

SCRIBBLER
SCRIBBLER

Auckland, New Zealand



About
People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude!- John C. Maxwell. more..

Writing
DAD DAD

A Poem by SCRIBBLER



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