some chasms

but what do you care?

you, who have hardened

your heart

against me...

 

what care you, that lowly I

should require friendship

today, or any other

day; that the ire

of disappointment

 

burns like poisoned wine

in my stomach,

and the pain

of disenchantment

as a block of dry ice

 

in my heart space?

You have the antidote

and you have a fire

I could use

but I am as dead to you.

 

and this last week

I needed you more

than words will ever have

the power

to repair some chasms

 

but what do you care?

you have hardened

your heart

and hardly noticed...

 

the small ripple it made

in your life, when, like

an ordinary pebble

you tossed me aside.

Reviews

[h d e rushin]

I see (want to see) so much Anne Sexton in the images of your confessional places.
And it is exciting in a way you can't take your eyes away for risk of not witnessing
the emotive; the sincere. And it is hard for me to know where the poet begins
or where the woman leaves off. And the fremitus vibrations of sadeness where the
detachment is a very important hurt:

"but I am as dead as you

And this, last week
i needed you more than words
will ever have the power
to repair some chasms

but what do you care?"

And by important I mean a contextual importance where sadness throws light
on the internal meaning of this love poem. This you do intentionally. Me? I'm
still trying to figure out your magic.

your amazing.
dana

[Marie Anzalone]

I have gotten so much positive feedback on my little scribblings of daily life recently, that I find it hard to believe. Yours has been esepcially kind and hard to beleive, consdiering the level to which I admire your own talent and use of words. I have been extraordinarily busy lately (writing a master's thesis, slaying dragons, buriyn house pets, etc.) and I must apologize. If I get through the next week or so with mind and body intact, I would like to set up some real literary corespondence with you. I would love to learn more from you. I apologize that I have neglected to do this before.

[Zap-the-awesome]

This is great. Great work

[Marie Anzalone]

Thanks, Zap. It is always hard when your best friend walks out of your life. I am glad you appreciated this rendition of what that is like.

[ChemicalMadness]

What do you care? And we so wonder. Truthfully. What makes them care? What inspires good to come forth out of places where we can only reasonably feel darkness? I love questions in pieces like these. So powerful.

CM.

[Marie Anzalone]

Thanks for your review on this, CM, adnyour thoughtful commentary. Your work and questions delve into mature themes and topics, and you ask big open-ended questions that maybe have no defined answers, regardless of what the balck and white poeple might like to do in order to abolish gray. Your comments are always much appreciated.

[Cool Handless Luke]

and i hate what i just wrote before...wasn't even a review - was just an interpretation - i hate it when that happens. well mostly anyway. it is good to know if you get your point across and also good to allow others to glean their own meanings and have it be special to them even if it isn't in the way you intended. so scratch that, i love what i wrote before! at any rate...it is a fine piece of raw and bitter emotion put into words. no complications. just a baring of the heart and soul to take it or leave it. loved it.

[Marie Anzalone]

I recently wrote, about my own reviewing style, "But what is reviewing but honing an ability for listening? If I listen well, then my review becomes the reflection of what your piece saw in my mirror."

As you know, most of my writing is very autobiographical. I DO try to stretch it out into the universal when I can. It is my resileince against weeks as dark and hard as the ones I just came through, and for the sadness I struggle with daily in my work with poverty. I need the outlet in order to get up every morning willing to believe again; in my own self, hope for humanity, love. That last one... I wonder how many failures one woman can endure and still recover?

[Cool Handless Luke]

double edged sword here as I have been on both sides of this sadly to say...i am not sure which side hurt me more - what was done to me....or what i discovered i could do. somewhere inside that ripple i was boiling in the sea. sometimes pain is the antidote for the original wound no?

[Marie Anzalone]

Both should be avoided. When a soul connection is broken, and one side abandoned, both sides must walk through the world missing part of their soul. it is better to keep the connection intact and change the venue or the nature of the relationship. Harder, by far, but healthier.

[Emily B]

my sister

[Marie Anzalone]

lockstep, we-

among all of my literary readings, my secret favorite is the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan. He created entire societies in his work, with their own customs. One of them was the Aiel, and one of their remarkable customs was using a form of magic to make two women who were not sisters by birth, real sisters in spirit by choice. A true rebirthing ceremony. I often wish we actually had some sort of formal recognition of anything resembling this.

[Emily B]

maybe there was a ceremony, a birthing once and we just don't remember it

[Marie Anzalone]

it would just like the darned universe to pull that crap, wouldn't it?

[Baby Ricochet]

Great expression of sorrow. Outstanding write Marie

[Marie Anzalone]

Thank you very much, Ricochet. Does any pain cause more self-doubt than having a close friend close his/ her heart to you? At least with outright death, you know that some things are beyond control. When a freind dies, part of him is maintained. When he wishes you dead, part of you does die.

[Fernando Pessoa]

I read this several times, and each time there was a sorrowful grief that poured down like rain. Nothing is so dismantling to our being as a once loving friend grown cold in the distance. It is less understood than the painful distance of death itself.

The ocean of the body crashes against the ocean of the heart. Between them is a barrier they cannot cross. ~ Rumi

[Marie Anzalone]

It never ceases to amaze me, your ability to pull out a relevant and thoughtful and gentle quote to suit every situation. Yes, as we have discussed at length before, those kind of soul friendships especially leave huge holes in us when the otehr side goes cold and dark and distant. It is like walking around without one's skin. There is no greater nakedness.

"Never close your lips to those whom you have already opened your heart."
— Charles Dickens

[Fernando Pessoa]

You know my weakness for anything Dickens, and you know how to speak to the heart so profoundly. Thank you for being an open book filled with life and love for all who will read.

[Marie Anzalone]

What you describe makes me a target more and more on here, and thus I appreciate the warmth and light of people like you more and more.

[Fernando Pessoa]

Walls do keep out the riff and the raff, but I'll be buggered if I can't have the freedom to walk in the meadows and swim in the rivers. You are precious and strong to knock down the walls for us.

[Marie Anzalone]

Breaking down walls is what I have always done... how did you know?

[Fernando Pessoa]

You just seemed like the wall breaking type. Wonderful in every way. :)

[Tree]

Dana mentioned Ann Sexton in regards to this piece, her and Sylvia two of my favorite confessional poets, now that I'm thinking you can throw in Sharon Olds, too. I feel that honest power here, harsh but truth is not always smooth and pure. Most of the time, it hurts. This got me thinking about my own experiences, and how some times when two people part ways they do it very differently; both parties trying to minimize the internal damage in their own ways. Some want to break cleanly, while others prefer to honor the original friendship by staying connected. They both have there pros and cons. A well written and emotional plea, for the return of a friend.

[Marie Anzalone]

A very thoughtful review, Diego, and yes, you nailed the plea hidden in the pain. You make a very valid point about the different merits of differing ways of parting and going different ways.

I have always felt like an oddball- with very rare exceptions, I have tried to repair what there was to repair, amongst all the "clean break is best" advice in the world. Then I started reading Marianne Williamson, and the truth of her words on the subject. She says that when there has been an emotional relationship that needs to end (whether or not there was physical intimacy involved), that the two people have a spiritual obligation to not completely abandon each other. I do not advocate this for any relationship where someone is being frankly absued, but that is not a relationship, either- it is a control situation. But I think anyone seriously on a path to growth will find that their troubles with another were mostly based on some painful life lesson. I was not entirely in the right on this one; but I did not necessarily do anyhting wrong, either. After my friend read this, a tentative hand for peace was extended, Intent matters so much in all things, I think. Speak it, claim it, shout it.

[Georgia Gypsy]

Thrown out like old dish water? In the moment when support is most needed, such a cold slap in the face. Too sad that one's worth is so closely associated with the other person's skewed perception, we are so much more than this.....
This is one of the most powerful pieces I have ever read, I too have been tossed before.
I am always here for you (just wish I was closer!!)
GG

[Marie Anzalone]

I know you have, Kelli. Incidently, I translated this in Spanish, with the intent, as another reviewer here says, to offer to repair the friendship. I posted it where I knew the recipient would read it. I have since received not an apology, but a tentative renewal of the friendship, and kind words, and caring intent. It made me literally cry with gratitude. There are just some people whose passing from one's life leaves a huge empty hole. And I know you know what that is like.

[Georgia Gypsy]

I am over joyed for you and the renewed friendship.....I hope one day the same may happen for me...
xxx

[Marie Anzalone]

I know.. maybe direct him here? LOL I could use some good publicity these days

[Georgia Gypsy]

Ha he's probably read this.....he doesn't miss much is my guess....

[Marie Anzalone]

he does not read me, I reckon... he did recently acknowledge a review of mine, though- hesitantly, but it was a start