For the Friend: Catatumbo

Third of a series about a love quadrangle. Probably for a contest.

And now you know. Why I loved men, who could not

love me.

And I lost you, for loving him.

Like I lost him, for loving myself.

Myself I lost because you and I, never learned

how to love each other.

I loved each of you in the manner, in which, the other

was most afraid.

Him with body and mouth and hands. (which you feared)

You, with literally everything else. (which terrified him)

 

Him, I loved because I chose to.

I loved him like a river flowing through a desert

contracting when there was no rain, overflowing

if there was excess.

About you, there never was, a choice.

I loved you and love you,

because it was our nature to love.

My love for you was that interface between water and sky

in Catatumbo, where every night of the year

an orgy of lightning materializes out of nothing more than

its own authority and permission to exist.

 

Maybe I waited for you to take control of my body’s excesses.

Maybe I waited for him to appreciate the lightning of my mind.

Maybe it was all a mistake.

Maybe it was the only thing I could have done.

 

You were right about many things, but not that.

I waited for you, but never to be rescued.

We both needed to rescue each other.

Today, I say, stop fearing me.

Discover me. Honor me. Celebrate me.

If you doubt me, take me to Catatumbo with you.

Hold my hand. Let’s watch the lightning.

If you can still tell me, truthfully,

you feel no thunder building between us,

then I will let you go, too. Until we meet again,

where ozone meets the human soul

after death.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Cattumbo is the place in Venezuela that has a massive lightning storm every night of the year.

written for my friend, Francisco. With much appreciation.

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

beautiful i really enjoyed this long poem.
good descriptives and flow
thanks for entry into my comp