poem: A Tribute in Violets

Hallmark doesn't make cards for my mother

A Tribute in Violets

And all those damn cards out there
would recognize you
only for cookies,
and hugs, and things you taught me

about kindness and warm fuzzy things.
As if.
Being a mom, the kind sanctioned
by Kincaide’s cloying paintings of goodness
defined your
boundaries in this world.
But I like to think
I can appreciate you too
as one woman to another, because-
let’s face it
none of this has been easy.
For either of us.
Like the broken winged birds
I brought home
and tended, so have we found
that daughters can be friends and mothers
can be confidantes.
That our respective worlds are as familiar
as childhood memories
and as different
as the changing face of
the shoreline where we used to go
every year;
with the sand the ponies and the
way you’d walk in the shadow of him, trying
to please.
I’m so glad you let the water
erase those tracks you left on that beach
and you struck out
and found one whose lighthouse
didn’t lead the traveler directly
into the battering rocks.

Thank you then, for being the kind of mom
who understands survival humor
and even knows
how to lob a few grenades at the
truly deserving.
You’ll never see that written in Hallmark, I assure you.
Thank God.
Because it means I have something
far better than the
lowest common denominator to call
home.
And maybe you didn’t realize it
but I’ve been watching
all these years
and taking in the you in my form;
understanding at last how I was shaped
by observing the way
they all come to you when they need healing.
Your door is always open
and the table is always set
with fresh flowers
AND
the damn floors are always clean
How the hell do you do it?
That’s one gene I fear I did not inherit.
Thank you for being the kind of woman I am proud
this Christmas
to say is my mom, the one who maybe
not so much as mothered me
as, in her wisdom,
simply understood me
and let me be who I needed to be.
Not holding my numerable mistakes against me
but rather, cultivating as well as you could,
what you found was best
in this wild meadow of a child
when you probably just wanted
a few carefully planted and tended violets

[Just let's hope not Kincaide's style]

Author's Note

for my mom for Christmas this year... because I can't find a card I actually like.
Her Christmas song is "Old City Bar" by Trans-Siberian Orchestra, because she would be there making the ones in a bar feel like it really was a home if they had to be there for Christmas.

Violets are her favorite flower.

Reviews

[cest la vie]

Marie,
It seems like I was around your age when I saw my Mom in a different light. All of the hopes, lessons she wished for me I deflected for years. Then one day I let them rain down on me. This is absolutely beautiful write for her. Your relationship has come into a new light and that in and of itself is a miracle.

Be sure to have some tissue handy, she will surely need them.
Merry Christmas to you and your Mum...

[Jasmine]

really incredible...i agree, the hallmark cards are so generic and impersonal. your mum will lo9ve this- you've put your heart and soul into it, and it's very very well written! merry christmas.

[Poeticpiers]

I salute you M lady .To recognise your mother as a friend and confidante takes a great deal of maturity. She must be someone special to inspire such a tribute

[Ellen Hammond]

This is definitely not a Hallmark/Kincaide card. LOL It is much more realistic and is one only you could write for your mom from the bottom of your heart. There are so many lines I loved that it is hard to pick just a few. But if I had to choose it would be:

"understanding at last how I was shaped
by observing the way
they all come to you when they need healing.
Your door is always open..."

Speaking as a mother, I believe your mom would be very touched by this one as you have shared so much of what you have observed and learned from her, and not just what you were told but also what you learned from watching her and now see her attributes in yourself. Your honest appreciation for her is admirable and will no doubt be the most wonderful gift you could give her.

A very interesting, touching, and, at times humorous, read. Thanks for sharing this very personal gift with us.

[Kenny L. Mitchell]

It's beautiful, exquisite, eloquent and touching. I think your mother would be proud Marie. Knowing my own mother is looking down at me as I read this (with tears in my eyes), I'd say she'd be proud of you too. I'm gonna stop because it's not MANLY to show all your emotions (so I've heard), but I will say that this brought a smile to my face. Thank you. I know your mom will LOVE this!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

First let me note that "Old City Bar" is one of my fav TSO Christmas songs...
secondly I am so touched to read such an in depth and personal tribute to your mom, this was amazingly touching and deep... this part really got to me...

And maybe you didn't realize it
but I've been watching
all these years
and taking in the you in me;
understanding at last how I was shaped
by observing the way
they all come to you when they need healing.

for I too credit my mother for being the person I am today, or try to be.
I think you deserve a standing ovation for this piece of sentimental artwork.

[Shutterbug]

I know she is going to love this. It is great!!! Thanks for sharing it with all of us.

[Mark]

"...let me be who I needed to be...cultivating, as best you could...this wild meadow of a child...when you probably just wanted a few...violets..."
Astonishing imagery!
As parents, we are kidding ourselves to imagine the lessons we instill will be appreciated by the children. The best we can hope for is that they will be appreciated by the adult. Reading this, she can only see her mission as successful, and for this, I can wholeheartedly vouch!

[An owl on the moon]

This is bold, beautiful (in a way much different from a Kincaide painting!), and simply brilliant in your honest eloquence about real life, your dear mother, and your own journey in this world. Makes me miss my mom and wish I could say just a few more things to her... Thank you so much for sharing...