Disease Called Love

Do you hear my screams

Do you hear my plea

I’m sorry for the things I’ve done

I’m sorry I’m not the one

Please take my hand and don’t let it go

Please give me space 

I need some room to grow

I will be with you

Always in your heart

When you see me 

Your head will start to spin and spin

You will rethink again

You know me well

But not well enough

To save me from myself

I’m drowning,help me

Drowning in a sea of emotions

I can’t cancel out the commotion

Save me from a disease called love

Reviews

[IWarieeth]

love is just another victim of our ego
let lie not on love and focus on us
not blaming love but ourselves for taking love has an advantage to hurt others or be selfish.
because love would still be love
we just define it in our own way.



nice one mysteriousgirl
that is just plain and simple.

[Akshay Rawal]

The poem starts out really well. the first seven lines really gets the reader hooked, but I don't know why you leave the rhyming pattern midway. I know it's hard to maintain the rhyme scheme for lack of words as you go along, but I think that's the challenge of poetry. Maybe try taking this head on?

For example. the middle lines could be rephrased as.

I will be with you, always in your heart.
Seeing me, your head spinning shall start.

Also, the line "I'm drowning, help me" seems a little redundant and serves no purpose. What this line tries to establish is already established in the rest of the poem.

Another piece that has potential but could be better.

Thanks
Akshay

[Reyansh]

Such a nice poem. Poetry is the best mode of sharing emotions and your poem arouses that.

[mysteriousgirl]

Thank You so much!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Yup love can certainly have you spinning and confused as it is a fickle character and as elusive as smoke. This is filled with a sadness, a desperation.

[mysteriousgirl]

Thank you so much for the feedback