Goodbye

Goodbye

A Poem by Chris

With every passing day,
I question why you didn't stay,
down here with the rest of us.
Is it all the days we missed the bus?
Is it because we never tried?
Because we always gave up and cried?
How were we supposed to know?
Days passed and you were a no-show.
We stood there waiting for you to appear,
through the rain, the dark, and all the fear.
I had to grow up way too fast,
my childhood dreams didn't last.
What ever happened to I'll always be there?
What ever happened to life is always fair?
I thought you said you'd take my hand,
so life's mysteries I'd understand.
But no you went and left me all alone.
Why didn't you ever pick up the phone?
I called you every chance I was given.
I even visited you while you were in prison.
If you were my father,
then why was I such a bother?
So many things I wished to tell you,
but the times we had to talk were so few.
Well now I know what happened
But now I know the truth,
I had to become a sleuth,
to find the reason behind your disappearance.
Despite everyones constance interference,
I discovered where you went.
To heaven you were sent.
I suppose I always knew,
I just didn't want it to be true.

© 2011 Chris


Author's Note

Chris
When I turned thirteen, I wasn't nearly ready to grow up. There was still a lot I couldn't understand. When my father died, I thought it was my fault. I blamed myself and thought back to all the things I couldn't changed to keep him.
Years had to pass before I finally accepted it.

My Review

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Featured Review

I really like the way that this poem is structured. The AA/BB rhyme scheme you pulled off well, and the repetition of questions is important because it adds elements of doubt and angst to it. As I kept reading, I began to feel how disillusioned you were with the life that you knew when you were younger, and I empathized with that.

The poem's simple and straightforward, but it has a lot of emotional impact--it conveys a sense of grief and abandonment throughout, and that effect was multiplied when I read past the middle of the poem and saw that its subject was your dad. That revelation came out of the blue and it sort of surprises the reader and makes them reassess what they've read up to that point. Despite the sad topic,at the end of it you seem like you've come to peace with what happened and what you found out about your father and like you've accepted everything. My favorite lines were the last three "to heaven you were sent. I suppose I always knew, I just didn't want it to be true." because we can all relate to those moments where we've known something that we wished we didn't know, or that we wish we were wrong about...it's a really nasty feeling when our feared expectations are finally met. It was the perfect way to close out the poem, and I liked it quite a bit.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is a good poem, Christoph! But sad..

~Natalie :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


Yes a very heartfelt poem indeed :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is so amazing, honestly. I could feel the emotions you put in it. Amazing, that's all I can say.

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is blunt. Has a slight touch of anger, and a helluva lot of abandonment. For once, I don't even know how to review this. It was absolutely amazing, but quite melancholy.

Posted 13 Years Ago


When you put emotions on a paper, this is what you get. Brilliant stuff, so deep. I personally loved it because it has the thing I like the most and that is rhyme.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Sad and dark but you have expressed yourself very well here..It's not complicated, just the truth in plain simple words.

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is an amzing poem,
Again it's a sad meaning and I would love to understand how you make all of your poems because they are so heartfelt and powerful.
Great write :) x

Posted 13 Years Ago


You pulled off the AA/BB rhyme. Well done. Though that rhyme scheme is abused, you certainly put a fresh fell to it, you added a nice rhythm to it.
I felt the raw emotion while I was reading this. I felt a twinkle in my eyes. Sure, this piece isn't complex, but with all the tense emotion sewn into it, it doesn't matter. Great job.

Posted 13 Years Ago


So sad and good! I will never understand how a parent can abandon their child!

Posted 13 Years Ago


this almost brought me to tears. the part that said "Why didn't you ever pick up the phone?" made me sad because i could relate. when i was little my dad wasn't around much because he was always on the road. and i didn't get to talk to him much because he was always busy. wonderful write. :)

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on April 12, 2011
Last Updated on April 14, 2011

Author

Chris
Chris

Hanover, MD



About
My birthday is the 26th of May 1992. Quotes: "We're the middle children of history, man--no purpose or place. We have no great war. No great depression. Our great war's a spiritual war. Our grea.. more..

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