Dreams (WAY BETTER THEN ORIGINAL!!)

Dreams (WAY BETTER THEN ORIGINAL!!)

A Poem by haymaker14
"

....

"
Dancing Cats,
partying rats?!
Uh-Oh
what a CATastrophe!

Dreams of Chocolate shakes,
how about candy cakes?
Maybe a dash of mix tapes
and crazy crepes!

Digging fossils,
lets go to Aeropostale!
Lets make some pasta!
We can see pengiuns in Antartica!
 
Eavesdropping people's Desktops
I would rather not learn about cash crops
chill with anyone
party and have fun!

Dreams galore,
nighttime isn't a bore anymore!
Don't dread that time of night
for dreaming is a wonderful flight!

© 2013 haymaker14


Author's Note

haymaker14
Pun intended on CATastrophe ;) Please review!

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Reviews

Potato

Posted 7 Years Ago


Very funny poem! I was really entertained by it, personally. The rhymes are clever, but silly, and I hope that was your intention! The only issue I would possibly see is if you were attempting to make a kind of pattern. Because you did break the pattern of syllables and rhymes in some parts of the poem. If you weren't following a strict guideline of rhyme and syllable, then my critique is void and null! Lol. But I smiled during this particular poem, I thought it was really nice to read. Good work on it!

Posted 7 Years Ago


haymaker14

7 Years Ago

Thanks! I was not following a strict scheme, but I was attempting to as much as possible. But thanks.. read more

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198 Views
2 Reviews
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Added on April 8, 2013
Last Updated on April 8, 2013
Tags: dream, puns, fun

Author

haymaker14
haymaker14

About
I am a female who ADORES reading and writing! I love writing poems! I love limericks but I don't write them much. I hope you enjoy my writing and my perspective on the world. I LOVE reviews, if it's b.. more..

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