Formidable Murmuring

Hate too cold for the flame to freeze,

Lustfully gleaming,

Inevitably bound to become anything.

Much like a formidable murmuring,

 

All knowing anything,

Speechlessly retreating,

Hopelessly repeating everything,

Becoming anything it wants to be.

 

Sorrow most likely.

Sometimes blaspheming,

Collapsing in on tyranny.

 

So much for formidable murmuring,

Destined to always be repeating,

Showing us nothing,

As it’s uncovering something.

          

Destined to be anything,

Bound to be everything,

Doing nothing.

Reviews

[Michael of Gilead]

Kinda reminds me of gossip...

[James William Dyer]

I enjoyed reading between the lines here. I would expand on this theme a little bit. I've seen so many people in the bus stop with their heads down mumbling or murmuring angrily to themselves, some resentful towards the world. My youngest brother does this formidable murmuring thing to the point of absurdity. Maybe try describing one particular person, follow their gestures and their mutterings and try to paint a picture in the reader's mind of who this person is, why they are angry. Nice job, though, especially at isolating that "formidable murmuring" people tend to do. Is this part of a collection? I have only one day off and a whole bunch of read requests, but I'd like to come back and check more of these out.

[J. Viands]

thanks for the review the collection is random and randomer

[James William Dyer]

I like the title.

[Dariana Guerrero]

Very well done!

[Emily]

I am very picky when it comes to poetry. I like deep, dark poetry. Like Poe. This is wonderful. I really like it and it takes a lot to make me like a poem. I criticize harshly when it comes to poetry.

[J. Viands]

damn thanks a mill. glad you liked it

[mandy]

doing nothing.....i see hopelessness, and maybe helplessness..kind of dark...i want the light,,something to think about,,bound to be everything,,,,better..i did like it though.

[J. Viands]

Thanks for the review, there have been questions of the character in this piece and since its post I have been asked why so angry. I’m not always sure what my writing is about and I thinks that’s exactly what I have written about here. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I create something people can love, enjoy, and be entertained by and have no idea why. I’m sorry it was too dark for your taste but it is the way it is I guess.

[mandy]

j, it is a good poem....i didn't mean to indicate it was too dark,,,,it came from your heart and that is always best. i say, write for yourself first!

[Ees]

hmmm. What is all this murmuring about? There's a dark edge to this that I really enjoy, but it left me wanting a little more in this one.
Good job!

[GypsyAlien3303]

I thought this was beautifully written:)

[Ruth]

It could be destined to be so much more as well! But what happens? We, as humanity create a lacklustre space where all should be explored...
Beautifully rendered!
xoxo