Hurt Too Many Times

Hurt Too Many Times

A Poem by Hazel Clark
"

As I grew up I started catching on to more and more things thanks to my mother because every time she had told us she was coming to pick us up she never showed up and had us waiting for what.

"
Hurt Too Many Times
By: Hazel Clark

Seems like it was just yesterday 
When I saw your face 
You told me you were proud
But I walked away

If I only knew what knew today
You would hold me in your arms
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just could not do

And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside 
But I won't admit

Some times I wanna hide
Cause it's you I'm missing
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this

You never told me I was wrong
When I made bad mistakes
You never helped me understand
You say you're proud of who I am

But who I am
I don't want to be
You told me you were home
You left me with strangers

Stranded in the house 
With all guys no chicks
While you were out running and hiding
Told us you were coming
Then you never even showed up

It's so out of line
You had me crying
Waiting in the cold
With our light jackets on

Waited for you to show up
To visit
You hurt me
He hurt me
Emotionally

I need him back
I'm so madly in love with him
Nobody cares how I feel 
He hates me

After 13 years 
I get ditched for another chick
I want him to knock at my door
I want him to express himself 

I want you to express yourself
You lecture me about the stupid stuff
He called me names
I was just not good enough for him

He said I ruined our friendship
But did I really
He got a new chick
While I was in a mental institution

He never told me 
He was dumping me
If he got with her
He was talking to her the whole time

He just up and walked out
Like everyone else
How could he walk out of my life
I loved him with all my heart

I loved you with all my heart
But you just hurt me
I trusted you
I believed you

I made you promise to visit every month
So you did 
And you broke every promise
He said when I'm 17 he'll get back with me

Just because I will have birth control
Hate not having him in my life
Hate that I lost him

When he hits me up
I'll tell him to leave me alone
I'll ignore him the rest of my lifetime
How could he walk out 

I was having a tough time
Still am
He was supposed to talk to me
And help clear my mind off those choices

I needed you all my life
You were never there
Where were you
When I was at cheer practice

Where were you
When I had my Soccer games
Where were you
When I needed you to be

Where was he 
When I had cheer practice
Where was he 
When I had my Soccer games
Where was he 
When I needed him to be

Everyone walks out
When I get close to someone
They leave
When they end up 
Being the ones to get close to me

I've been hurt too many times
I'm honestly tired
I'm stressed
I'll never be enough

For one day
I'll learn to love myself
I'll learn to not be negative
Please come back

Stop getting my hopes up
Stop lying to me
You're just like him

© 2020 Hazel Clark


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Reviews

As I mentioned I like almost all of your poems. You have great descriptive abilities and it's a great idea to express yourself by writing, it seems to be the purest form. One or two of your poems I have added to my favorites as well. I'm sure you'll be successful in tackling depression and will start loving yourself again. And people of the school? They are there to do nothing else bullying good people. You'll have to forget them now.

Posted 2 Days Ago


Hazel Clark

2 Days Ago

It'll take a while to start loving myself again, but I'll eventually manage it
Think you summed it up in the second last verse. You need to love yourself before anything else makes sense. What others do and how it affects you is stark, but it also empowers you in your own journey in life.
Negativity is just the starting point of turning the switch.
Positivity is the switch turned on.


Posted 2 Days Ago


Hazel Clark

2 Days Ago

It takes me forever to get over him and to push through what my mother always did
Paul Bell

2 Days Ago

Baggage is what it is, only holds you back.
Hazel Clark

2 Days Ago

I burnt everything including his hoodie because it usually helps me, but that's not the case now the.. read more

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2 Reviews
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Added on August 2, 2020
Last Updated on August 2, 2020

Author

Hazel Clark
Hazel Clark

Uniontown, PA



About
I'm a very bold person with a lot of experiences in life and love my writings and wouldn't change anything to make me stop writing or doing anything i love doing. more..

Writing