Falling Into You Again

Falling Into You Again

A Chapter by Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)
"

You were my first love, now you are still the one...

"

I’ve spent half of my life
educating myself and others.
You were my first love,
but I decided to forget you
and lived normally.

I don’t know why
you are knocking at my door again.
Sometimes you are gazing at my window,
waving your hands
and calling my name.
Are you making me
fall into you again?

I can’t resist it!
I thought you were my first love -
just one of the stories in my past,
among the forgotten poems I made,
like one of the paintings exhibited
in the walls of my dark chest.
But until now I can feel it-
the love I have for you in decades
is like a seed in my heart.
Now it is growing as I feel your spirit.
I’m falling into you again.

How blissful I am
to do these things with you.
I love you so much.
You are the melody I sing,
the verse I hear from my heart,
the tale in my mind,
the beauty I coat in my canvass.
Art, I’m falling into you again…

~~¤~~











© 2016 Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)


Author's Note

Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

My Review

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Featured Review

Hi, Dhaye! It's been a long time!
hehehe

Let me start by saying something about the title. I think you chose the wrong preposition or, shall I say, the less appropriate preposition. "Falling into you" is different from "falling for you". You may also say "getting into you" if "into" sounds better for you. Consider changing the lines in the poem containing the phrase "falling into you".

This poem is a free verse, right? You did not give much regard to the basic elements of poetry namely rhyme, rhythm and meter. In this poem, I see no rhyming pattern, hear less musicality and notice no particular metric scheme. Since the elements are not so present in the piece, I was expecting that you would employ some other literary devices that would have made the piece a lot more poetic. You should've used more figures of speech. It could also help if you become less literal with what you really want to say. For example, instead of saying "the water is boiling", you could actually say "the kettle whistles as it gargles water atop the dancing fire". We call it "defamiliarization". That is, saying something familiar to the readers in an unfamiliar way. I know you get it. =)

Try to look at the way you have written this piece. Look at the words that you used. Most parts are so literal. But the last part holds much weight because of the choice of words. Diction is really important in crafting poetry.

Also, try to be more of an imagist than of a narrator especially in writing short poems. You can do "telling" but I suggest you do more of "showing".

When it comes to the theme or subject of the poem, I must say that you are still stirring my mind. =) I'm torn between two interpretations. Thinking that the addressee is a person is plausible. Nevertheless, saying that you are merely talking about being into arts again is also plausible. Would you mind to enlighten my mind to shoo way this dilemma? Anyway, the latter sounds more plausible to me. =)

Dhaye, there is really much in you that just needs more stretching and squeezing. Smile! I know your next pieces will be "wow"!
=)


- joe

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

You did when you remind me of using Metaphor in this piece. Thanks, I've learned. :)
Mahaba n.. read more
Sir Joe

8 Years Ago

Hehehe pero I hope you have understood what I meant when I said that the poem assumes a life of its .. read more
Sir Joe

8 Years Ago

hahaha cluttered tlga ang mind q,,,grbe,,,,parang ang gulo gulo ng mga cnsbi q hahahaha



Reviews

It's an amazing poem! :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Thanks. )
Beautifully rendered emotion to your hobby - art, or maybe that's the name of your first love - Art. Is your husband name Art ? If not, then this is a disguise ( para huwag mahalata ) I'm just joking. He,he,he. However this is really an astute write of introspection. Lovely indeed.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Ency Bearis

8 Years Ago

I know it is form of arts, eh yong word mo kasi is Art, hindi mo linahat -arts - My comments ay sady.. read more
Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Ay, hindi naman ako pikunin. Okay lang yung joke mo, Sir Ency. No need to apologize. Natatawa lang a.. read more
Ency Bearis

8 Years Ago

It's okay. : )
First off, I really enjoy this poem as it really makes one (me) feel, therefore so relateable, especially for me. This really reminds me of my ex b.f. and I's relationship. Especially the second stanza...actually made my heart ache.

Now onto the poem, I love the fluidity of this with its pleasing melodic rhyme, repetition of "falling into you again."

The imagery you convey here speaks volumes, and you portrayed it here with eloquence and poignancy.

This is a wonderful, heart-felt poem, thanks for sharing and Pen on :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Thanks, BarrieJoy. :)
ms. barrie

8 Years Ago

you're quite welcome, Dhaye or From Light to Dark, :)
Hi, Dhaye! It's been a long time!
hehehe

Let me start by saying something about the title. I think you chose the wrong preposition or, shall I say, the less appropriate preposition. "Falling into you" is different from "falling for you". You may also say "getting into you" if "into" sounds better for you. Consider changing the lines in the poem containing the phrase "falling into you".

This poem is a free verse, right? You did not give much regard to the basic elements of poetry namely rhyme, rhythm and meter. In this poem, I see no rhyming pattern, hear less musicality and notice no particular metric scheme. Since the elements are not so present in the piece, I was expecting that you would employ some other literary devices that would have made the piece a lot more poetic. You should've used more figures of speech. It could also help if you become less literal with what you really want to say. For example, instead of saying "the water is boiling", you could actually say "the kettle whistles as it gargles water atop the dancing fire". We call it "defamiliarization". That is, saying something familiar to the readers in an unfamiliar way. I know you get it. =)

Try to look at the way you have written this piece. Look at the words that you used. Most parts are so literal. But the last part holds much weight because of the choice of words. Diction is really important in crafting poetry.

Also, try to be more of an imagist than of a narrator especially in writing short poems. You can do "telling" but I suggest you do more of "showing".

When it comes to the theme or subject of the poem, I must say that you are still stirring my mind. =) I'm torn between two interpretations. Thinking that the addressee is a person is plausible. Nevertheless, saying that you are merely talking about being into arts again is also plausible. Would you mind to enlighten my mind to shoo way this dilemma? Anyway, the latter sounds more plausible to me. =)

Dhaye, there is really much in you that just needs more stretching and squeezing. Smile! I know your next pieces will be "wow"!
=)


- joe

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

You did when you remind me of using Metaphor in this piece. Thanks, I've learned. :)
Mahaba n.. read more
Sir Joe

8 Years Ago

Hehehe pero I hope you have understood what I meant when I said that the poem assumes a life of its .. read more
Sir Joe

8 Years Ago

hahaha cluttered tlga ang mind q,,,grbe,,,,parang ang gulo gulo ng mga cnsbi q hahahaha
One of my fave song of Celine :) love the poem it is honest and bitter sweet memories, I know love like first love is unforgettable even how many decades passed, this is a sweet poem always flow with raw emotions thanks for sharing my friend.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Marc Marlon Villaflor

8 Years Ago

:) Yes truly you are brilliant, sorry if my thought did not hit the right point hehehe I am point bl.. read more
Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

...and somehow got addicted like you do. Haha. Sleeping late and waking up so early...
Marc Marlon Villaflor

8 Years Ago

lol :) yeah
This is a supreme write...I love everything about it, the feel, the format, the music, relatable and so lovely, can't say more!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Thanks for the visit, Ms. F. I am so honored for the word "supreme". It flatters me. :)
Frieda P

8 Years Ago

'Tis...this one spoke to me, and yay, I get to listen to this lovely music again too...my pleasure! .. read more
really great piece here, i think you captured really well the feeling of "falling into someone". great images used throughout, think the 3rd stanza is one of my favorites I've read in a long time. overall wonderful poem.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Thank you, Azriel. I' m falling into "something". I know all of us here are really in love with Arts.. read more
So heartfelt, and wise... and very recognizable for me!!!

"You are the melody I sing,
the verse I hear from my heart,
the tale in my mind,
the beauty I coat in my canvass"

Are the best lines of this poem, in my opinion,
Truly artistic. Thank you so much for your
the beauty in your words, and your heart.

- Elisa

Posted 8 Years Ago


Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

My dear Elisa... we are just the same. I know you are also hooked with Arts. I love writing and pain.. read more

8 Years Ago

I'm so proud of you, and happy the time is there again for exploring arts, as you should to.. Yes, I.. read more
Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Agree. :)
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Pax
I knew the feeling very well... may our memory fades, but our hearts never forget... at first i thought this was about first love on someone... but the ending is quite clever way to expressed... the love for art never fades in our hearts... its always there... like falling in love everyday... awesome write my friend...

Posted 8 Years Ago


Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Thanks for the visit. Glad you like it. :)
Pax

8 Years Ago

your most welcome kabayan...
This was very nice and I know the feeling exactly.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Haha...I'm in love with total ARTS... music, literature, painting.
Thanks for the review, Jac.. read more
Jack...

8 Years Ago

I am with you, I write music and play various instruments, I paint and sculpt and I garden. Oh yeah,.. read more

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1168 Views
10 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on April 8, 2013
Last Updated on March 23, 2016
Tags: First love, love, writing, literature, painting, art, music, song, poem

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Author

Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)
Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

Philippines



About
Hello! I am Dhaye, a public secondary school teacher, a passionate artist "married" to her dream. I write in different perspectives. So please know NOT all my works are about me. .. more..

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