CHAPTER IV. AT THE ELEVATOR

CHAPTER IV. 

                      

                    I saw it! There’s the elevator. I have to be on the 7^th floor  before 8:10 am.

              “Okay, here I am 7^th floor,” I whispered to myself while reaching the button to press number 7. But to my dismay, someone's hand pressed the button. I am not alone at the elevator! I felt  the increase of my wrinkles and the movement of my eyebrows. I prepared  myself for a war. Yes! I have to do this because it seems that my first ever client will be lost and the door to my career will close soon just because of this person.

                I faced at the person, attempting to speak my “How dare you” words as a start of the war. But his lips formed the sweetest smile Marian should have been taken a photo. He moved his head and by looking at the button, I understood that he means “Look!” I am surprised again. It’s number 7. He pressed number 7, and we’re going to the same floor of this building. I just smiled back at him, the sweetest smile I could ever give to a man. My God! He’s so handsome. And I don’t care about the 7^th floor now.

Reviews

[Pax]

awkward sentences again with awkward moments :D ~

I don't understand this somehow:
But to my dismay a big hand 'came over to pass me' and pressed the button.

Im not sure about this sentence, maybe to me but i needed to mention it ~
"I faced at the person" ~ i think it needed a rephrase ~

~ i find this awkward again~
But his lips opened and formed the sweetest smile Marian should have been taken a photo.

can i rephrase it like this(parang kasing nakanganga siya then nag smile LOL):
but his lip formed the sweetest smile i ever saw, then Marian should be here to take a photo of those precious smile.

good chapter ~ remember kabayan di ako expert sa grammar ~ you can disregard my suggestion if its not helpful...

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Di rin nga ako sure don sa big hand came over to pass me. Kasi nagmamadali siya, di niya napansin may kasabay siya sa elevator kaya nagulat siya, may kamay na dumaan sa harap niya at inunahan siya pumindot. Hay, sino pa kaya tutulong dito?
Tama yung parang nakanganga. Aayusin ko yun.
Thanks.

[Pax]

But to my dismay a big hand 'came over to pass me' and pressed the button
~ but to my dismay, a man pushed the elevator button first before i could even pressed it. ~ parang ganun diba...

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Hehe. Nagawan ko na ng paraan. Thanks, Pax.