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Poem 14.    The Happy Face

Poem 14. The Happy Face

A Chapter by Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)
"

(A Tanka)

"

 


Smiles hide the truth

Laughter covers all the worsts

Bittersweet mem'ries

Concealed by a happy face

Another show is waiting.


~~¤~~



 



© 2016 Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)


Author's Note

Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

My Review

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Featured Review

Dhaye, the thought it tries to convey holds much weight. Though the meaning of the whole poem has already been overused, you were able to deliver it in a different way, in a way which doesn't make it sound as a cliche.

The first two lines are clear. However, the following lines are somewhat distracting. They hinder the flow springing from the first two lines. I think it would help if you utilized some punctuation marks which could make the phrasing more concrete.

Try reading it again and you will find the third, fourth and last lines "rocky". Consider smoothening the flow of the reading experience of the readers. You may also separate the last line from the rest for it holds a heavy thought of its own. It's like you are separating a sentence from a paragraph out of necessity.

These are just as far as my views are concerned. You may or may not follow these suggestions of mine.

More power to you, Dhaye!



- joe

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sir Joe

8 Years Ago

Eto, nasa naga hehehe
Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Thanks, Sir Joe. Basahin mo yung comment ko sa new pic mo during your presentation. haha!
Sir Joe

8 Years Ago

cge po hahaha wait



Reviews

Loved the poem the music and the photo...Enjoyed....SyberRose

Posted 8 Years Ago


Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it. :)
nice poem, inspired me to write one

Posted 8 Years Ago


Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Thanks. :)
I like this poem a lot and your thoughts. Well done as always...:)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Thanks, Sami. :)
Sami Khalil

8 Years Ago

You are welcome...:)
I like the brevity but remarkable. Nice verses.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Thanks po, Sir Ency. :)
Speaks the very truth, love the stunning words and brilliant write in a few words. I love the music it empowers the emotions in this piece. Love it Dhaye :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sir Joe

8 Years Ago

Hehehe never heard of the last two kinds. hehehe
Yes, tuturuan aq ni Sir Marc and ni Dhaye heh.. read more
Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Lol :) Magresearch ka na lang. Kami kaya ni Marc ay nagtry lang ng kung anu-ano. Ako, preferred ko k.. read more
Sir Joe

8 Years Ago

hehehe cge research na lng aq hehehe
Dhaye, the thought it tries to convey holds much weight. Though the meaning of the whole poem has already been overused, you were able to deliver it in a different way, in a way which doesn't make it sound as a cliche.

The first two lines are clear. However, the following lines are somewhat distracting. They hinder the flow springing from the first two lines. I think it would help if you utilized some punctuation marks which could make the phrasing more concrete.

Try reading it again and you will find the third, fourth and last lines "rocky". Consider smoothening the flow of the reading experience of the readers. You may also separate the last line from the rest for it holds a heavy thought of its own. It's like you are separating a sentence from a paragraph out of necessity.

These are just as far as my views are concerned. You may or may not follow these suggestions of mine.

More power to you, Dhaye!



- joe

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sir Joe

8 Years Ago

Eto, nasa naga hehehe
Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Thanks, Sir Joe. Basahin mo yung comment ko sa new pic mo during your presentation. haha!
Sir Joe

8 Years Ago

cge po hahaha wait
Simple Yet Beautiful! This Tugged At My Heart. Great Job! :)


Posted 8 Years Ago


Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Thanks, Rachael. :)
Beautiful Dhaye, sad and true :)
I so love tanka :)
I have been reading chapters too:) will comment soon!!!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

8 Years Ago

Wow! Thanks, man...:)
Souladareatease

8 Years Ago

Thank You!!!

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885 Views
8 Reviews
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Added on April 18, 2013
Last Updated on March 23, 2016
Tags: tanka, happy, face, mask, sorrow, sadness

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Author

Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)
Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)

Philippines



About
Hello! I am Dhaye, a public secondary school teacher, a passionate artist "married" to her dream. I write in different perspectives. So please know NOT all my works are about me. .. more..

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