OH, WOMAN (Rhyme)

A response poem to Sami Khalil's PRIMA DONNA

Oh, woman!

That

beauty

is not

everlasting

For like

a fancy

jewel

it will

tarnish

What you

possess

today

couldn't be

enduring

For in

due time

all of

those things

will vanish.

 

Oh, woman!

Why do you

always seek

what’s not

for you?

 

Look closely

At your

Hands

And what

You hold

 

Isn’t it

Enough to

Smile

And laugh

Against the woe?

 

There are still

Some things

You just

Have to

unfold…

Author's Note

Actually, there are 2 verses in this poem but I decided to present it with this structure.
Constructive criticisms are welcome.
*****

Rhyme. A rhyming poem has the repetition of the same or similar sounds of two or more words, often at the end of the line.

Reviews

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

It is wise to build a future, while we have the vitality of youth.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

This message brightened me up and I'm sure it has the same effect on other women, too. After all, this poem seems to have an angel's voice which soothes one's soul. This reminds me of some good verses in the book of Psalms. Way to go, Ate! :)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thanks, Blue.
Any good piece can motivate a reader to make a response poem like this. I owe it to Sami's poem.

[Lyn Anderson]

I think this is an excellent piece, and I like the way you have constructed it. One tiny comment - "always seek for what's not for you" would it flow better just as "always seek what's not for you"

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Oh, thanks a lot. I noted there that I welcome any constructive criticism. I honestly need it since this is my first time to make something with this structure. And I'm not really sure with the grammar itself because as you see, it's done for some minutes only after commenting to Sami Khalil's post. I really appreciate you heard my wish. LOL
I'll take your suggestion 100%. Kudos!

[Lyn Anderson]

You are very welcome. We all need to help each other.:)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

=( @ _ @ )=

[Sami Khalil]

"Oh, woman!



That



beauty



is not



everlasting





For like



a fancy



jewel



it will



tarnish




What you



possess



today



couldn't be



enduring





For in



due time



all of



those things



will vanish."

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. A great write that is inspiring...I like the format too...Bravo.......
In my library...:)....................

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thank you and thanks to your piece, too. =)

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...Any time...:).................