WHAT IS RIGHT (Ghazal)

Ah! This society…

 

Oh, man you are so wise, you’re always right;

You always speak the truth and what is right.

 

You taught me your culture, I have to blend,

I’m scared but tried to live for what is right.

 

You sang the oldest songs I hate to hear,

My ears are wanting bad for what is right.

 

You pulled me and asked me to dance with you,

You knew that music’s off, it is not right.

 

You held me close to you, I have no chance,

To see, to hear, to speak for what is right…

 

Author's Note

Ghazal
A Ghazal is a poem that is made up like an odd numbered chain of couplets, where each couplet is an independent poem. It should be natural to put a comma at the end of the first line. The Ghazal has a refrain of one to three words that repeat, and an inline rhyme that preceedes the refrain. Lines 1 and 2, then every second line, has this refrain and inline rhyme, and the last couplet should refer to the authors pen-name... The rhyming scheme is AA bA cA dA eA etc.

Reviews

[gabrielle]

First off, lovely photo and the prominent collar bone of your model is beautiful. As to the poem, rule of conduct could sometimes suffocate us. I remember my younger days when i joined friends who were fond of saying "F@#k the norms" at naprincipal's office kami.

"You pulled me and asked me to dance with you,
You knew that music’s off, it is not right." --- mmmm...intriguing lines.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

"You pulled me and asked me to dance with you,
You knew that music’s off, it is not right."----

I'm not talking about a specific person and/or situation here. It's just a metonymy- the man represents the society. The society has its standards that pulling one so hard to follow it. It's not right to make dance moves different from the music playing, is it? When there is a situation which requires an act, the society's standards will tell what must be done. The music is off; the dance move is off; the situation is off; but the society is always right.

LOL, I think I made a wrong statement of those lines...But what I've said is the summary of a recent conversation with some friends.

Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts here, Gab.

[gabrielle]

ah ok.. most of the time i am very literal kasi. lol. thank you for clarifying. welcome dhaye.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

We are pressured sometime to go with the status quo society pushes upon us afraid of being outcast and all alone. I'd rather be the misfit rather then play the puppet.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

If only we have to live by ourselves and nobody would be affected especially our loved ones, perhaps we can do what we think as right. But the norms and traditions of the society could pull us so hard and the saddest part is we have to believe that following to it is the right thing to do.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here, cowboy.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

My pleasure, thank you for the enlightening poem

[Tom]

A fine epiphany to the absolute right to freedom of choice !

And thanks for the info on a new structure of poetry for me....Ghazal !

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thanks for reading this one, Tom.

[Eddie Davis]

That was a fascinating style of poetry, Daisie. The subject matter was rather dark and for some reason I kept thinking of some of the more restrictive of Islamic cultures.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

When I was writing this, the concept was just to describe a kind of life of someone who is already fed up of too much expectations from the society in which he belongs. That society is setting a standard, a norm that everyone must follow. And sometimes, a person feels that he is like a puppet. His acts are not what's inside his mind and heart but the will of those who expects too much from him.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, Eddie.

[Coyote Poetry]

"You sang the oldest songs I hate to hear,
My ears are wanting bad for what is right."
I like the poem. Using the format. You create a poem with message. The above were my favorite. Hard to hear the truth when we are blocked-out by false words and actions. No weakness in the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Our society is expecting too much from us and sometimes we feel that we can't breath anymore. But still we don't have any chance but to conform with it's standards...

Thank you so much, CP.