The Best Curse I Ever Had

The Best Curse I Ever Had

A Poem by trainwreck

It’s never been easy to look in your eyes.

I can gaze into your soul,

Pretending I know

What to say, or how to hide.

 

If we could fall again, deeper in the sand,

I could hold your heart,

Plead that you not fall apart,

Oh, to hold your hand,

 

To feel a soul, to feel a pulse!

I’m begging you, keep me here,

Whisper away my fear,

My darling, please, hold me close.

 

And now I feel my aching chest,

The cage reserved for a heart alone,

Lungs and blood made of stone,

Pretend, for a minute, I was the best.

 

Baby, I can feel you heal me,

The eyes that I have filled with pain,

Eyes as dark and cold as rain,

And you would kiss me back, with feeling.

 

It’s never been easy to touch you.

I’ve always had to be strong,

My heart, your heart, they ache all wrong,

And yet… You have let me love you.

 

 

© 2013 trainwreck


Author's Note

trainwreck
I am a little rusty, so any feedback about rhythm and things would be much appreciated.

My Review

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Reviews

I did not enjoy this. It's too plain and your vocabulary is overused.

Posted 7 Years Ago


trainwreck

7 Years Ago

Thank you for your honesty. :) Is there anything you think I should do to improve in the future?
painful even to read... pulls at my heartstrings.

Posted 7 Years Ago


trainwreck

7 Years Ago

Thank you for your review. :) I hope you enjoyed it, after a fashion, to some extent.
The aching of the tell tale heart so beautiful

Posted 7 Years Ago


trainwreck

7 Years Ago

Thank you Tate :)
You my dear are nothing near rusty. The rhyme, and the flow are beautifully kept the whole way through.
Such moving and emotional lines. Wonderful words

Posted 8 Years Ago


trainwreck

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your review!
"Oh, to hold your hand, / To feel a soul, to feel a pulse!"

These two lines in particular evoked a vital throe in me. They effectively encapsulate the essence of the poem. Albeit I might have misconstrued the second line; I imagined that the ambivalent lover, as she held his hand, felt her own soul, her own vital sign.

Posted 8 Years Ago


trainwreck

8 Years Ago

That is very close to my intent, as far as those lines go. :)
Thank you for reviewing!
poignant...lyrical...heartfelt ! absolutely loved this one :-)

Posted 8 Years Ago


trainwreck

8 Years Ago

Thank you for the review!
Woow! You wrote a beautiful romance! My heart skipped a beat when I was reading this.

Posted 8 Years Ago


trainwreck

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much! I'm glad this touched you.
Beautiful and has so much power. As I read I can feel each emotion as if I am there, very well written.

Posted 8 Years Ago


trainwreck

8 Years Ago

Thank you for your interest :)
What a beautiful, passionate, bittersweet write.. There is a wondrous longing, and yet a distance there... but yes, loving is such a pure joy. So well said.

Posted 8 Years Ago


trainwreck

8 Years Ago

Thank you for reading my work! :)
You have created a wonderful piece with care on rhyming.
The meaning is quite understandable.
You may repair the first stanza to match its rhyming like the later ones.
Excellent work.

Posted 8 Years Ago


trainwreck

8 Years Ago

Hmm, I didn't notice the first stanza until now. I will consider revising. Thanks for the review!
zainul

8 Years Ago

Thanks a lot.
Then you might love to reexamine the third stanza too.
Its rhyming may be.. read more

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621 Views
14 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on March 17, 2013
Last Updated on April 8, 2013
Tags: love, hate, eyes, lover

Author

trainwreck
trainwreck

HI



About
I'm Heidi. I normally write songs, but these are the things I write when I have nothing better to say in lyrics. I am a Christian, but my work is, honestly, not overly religious. I am passionate a.. more..

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