The Thin Red Line

My eye lids have been peeled apart 

The kisses between my lashes disappear

Blackness engulfs my senses

The frigid artic cold swallows me 

Beads of cold sweat stream down my back

Goosebumps reside on my creamy, sticky skin

My body grunts in pain with every breath I take

In. . . Stab

Out . . . Twist

In . . . Rip

Out . . . Thrust

I’m scared

My mind acknowledges the fact of the unknown

Constant is the panic in my thoughts

To dream awake, not knowing what from what

What is dream and what is fact

Fear reaches its peak 

That climax, 

The Everest of unreachables 

Once I hit the impenetrable glass wall

. . . Thump. . . 

I can only go down

So I fall

Fall

Fall

Into the depths of my own sick and twisted imagination

Loosing the tiny grip I have on life

My soul whispers in my head

I know something crucial will take place 

What?

When?

How can I know when I’m no oracle nor god

Fear runs deep within my veins

The life sustaining substance freezes 

Ice cold water courses through my body instead

Time 

My biggest enemy 

Time

My best friend

Delay my pain

End it once and for all 

A shift in the atmosphere startles me

The air changes 

I can feel my heart beat in my throat

My hands become as slippery as soap

My body recoils into a foetal position

Cradling my head

God 

I can’t do it any more 

End it all I command

End my suffering 

That wouldn’t be fun . . . 

Whispers a voice

I can’t be weak

Must be strong

Must be strong

Must be strong

I chant to myself

Got you. . .

Taunts the voice

As I feel razor sharp nails dig into my flesh

The hand has my knee 

The noise my skin makes as it tears brings bloodshed to my eardrums

The screeching of fingernails against a chalkboard is no match

My drained and soulless frame is being lifted off its unknown resting place

Up and up and up we go

So high so far 

I cling to my sanity with every ounce of strength I have left

My muscle complain and I feel spasms on my legs

Don’t you do it 

I beg 

Too bad my voice is gone 

Buried in my throat 

Not even a coward whimper escapes my muted lips

The frustration of complete silence scares me even more

The hand shifts and my skin rips even more

The steel grip softens. . . Oh god

I feel the air under me start to scramble

Every cell in my body fills with terror

As my entire anatomy faces the prospect of hysteria

The hand drops me 

Letting go of my sanity altogether

I slip into a state of madness

No control 

1 2 3 4 5 6 

My heart tries to rip out of the jail of my chest 

Tears stream down my cheeks

I’m going so fast 

No air makes it to my lungs

I hit the ground with a sickening crunch

Pain shoots through my core 

Like needles penetrating every inch of my soul

I taste the coppery liquid flooding my mouth

Blood

I can hear myself again

I find comfort in my pain

I’m still alive

I tell myself

So cry 

Because I know 

Soon the silence will come again

But I don’t cry because of pain 

I cry 

Because it will happen all over again