Five Days of Rain

30 % chance of thundershowers....

Your judgments rained steadily upon me, five days straight

Melting my raincoat defenses, exposing aging brick and mortar….a regular guy

That one drop on the tip of my tongue, cruel in every detail, spread like acid

Melting self esteem

You grew into a giant of a woman that day and I had no suitable weapons

 

Rain, rain….go away

You can’t harvest wet grain dear…..

But if the sun refuses your invitation

For God’s sake rain…go away

 

It rained for five days straight the day you left

Enough to wash away my blood that coagulated on the hot concrete

Into the storm drains with my soul, I hope it makes it to the ocean some day

Spreading my promise

I thought I would come apart at the seams listening to my shadow

 

Rain, rain….go away

You should have built a boat dear….

But time has stolen your moment

For my sake rain…go away

 

It poured for five days straight the day you called me, begging

Making it seem as though I was a man worth having, your mistake

Toweling my body dry with misplaced kindness, remodeling outdated thoughts

Crying, spilt milk

You receded into a mouse of a woman that day and I had a restocked armory

 

Rain, rain….go away

You can’t erase the past dear….

And I won’t succumb to your pain

For your sake rain….go away

Author's Note

They always come back...

Reviews

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Crowley... Rain is a woman... drenched to the bone
with reasons galore to explore. Poetry like yours gives us a chance
to see life as a pending storm with winds that can damage a soul.
Perhaps at times a Hurricane could be worse... unless it goes out to sea.
Your talent is relentless and proves a point well taken. truly, Pat

[Crowley]

Thanks so much, that was a stellar review, I am glad people go back and review older stuff. That is one of my faves. My other faves are Our Bravest Face , and Notes on Grant and Green. I will head to look at your stuff, if you have faves, let me know!!!

[Chryiss]

Oh my gosh. Am I supposed to be laughing? I don't think so. But I can't help myself. I'm so tickled by these lines, "You grew into a giant of a woman that day and I had no suitable weapons," "You receded into a mouse of a woman that day and I had a restocked armory." So bluntly real. I love it.
I also love this line, "I thought I would come apart at the seams listening to my shadow." It gives quite the visual in mind.. Listening to my shadow.. It just finished raining now, and I hear the drip drop upon the air conditioner. How silent it is.. Can I listen to my shadow? ..Seriously, what a mood this piece is.
Also, nice touch with the repetitions and the slights changes to narrate the events.

[Crowley]

Glad you liked it!!!! Thanks for stopping by!!!!

[Chryiss]

You're welcome; although, I'll definitely be reading more of your writing! I just felt in the mood of rain at the time and picked this one up first. (If you don't know by now, I like rain a lot.)

[Cherrie Palmer]

...crying, split milk... great use of an old saying.

Nothing like a little rain to wash away the drama of heartbreak.
I love the opposing cadence of the poem sandwiched between that old nursery rhyme. Excellent poem.

[Crowley]

Thanks Cherrie!!!!

[lightsong]

Gosh Crowley! what have You written?! what have You done?! what are You doing?!! so real, so so real... from tip to toe, I doubt anyone who read this or will come to read this will not cry or feel that their heart is broken, gosh! my heart is aching, and is bleeding through all depths into the very core... the emotions are so real, so alive, I don't think I have read a poem before that caused me pain as much as Yours here, it's so real... that's the thing, so REAL... I read the last verse, the "dear" word, the last word "away"... and I can't help but to feel the pain into my bones.

I highly applaud You, absolutely Your finest write I've read till now, 1000000/100 if I could.

[Crowley]

Wow, what a wonderful review!!! Thank you so much. I wonder if I would get a new badge for 1,000,000 points..lol.

[lightsong]

if I was one of the administers I would give You it ;)

[Pete]

nice job. that's what they're saying in the carolinas now. they say that into everyone's life a little rain must fall. this one, an epic flood of heartache and tears. quite creative and poignant. very relatable. i guess that's what coats, umbrellas and insurance are for - when they won't ... :)

[¿]

Sad to read and strongly poetic to feel.... I wonder whom had first thought that our heart breaks..I mean a piece of flesh and veins breaking! Thanks to him/her and also to you for writing this fervent piece!
May the thunder never showers on you and the rain-pain goes away.....Take care, friend :)

[wordman]

five days of rain,much longer than that is the pain

[Chris Shaw]

A powerful piece of poetry here Crowley. Tells clearly of the devastation of her leaving and how it tore away at your self esteem reducing you to a mouse like figure while she loomed over you. What a difference that five days of rain made, while she had time to reflect on her mistakes, asking for forgiveness and you my friend became a giant. It's an incredibly sad write, but the ending was more uplifting. The ending was filled with some hope, that you would be ok and you would be able to deal with it. Great poetry. Loved your lines here. Such a strong ending.

Chris

[barleygirl]

This is how to do a heartbreak poem! I love your masterful crafting of the extended metaphor! The contrast between nursery rhymes & adult games makes for an intriguing tableau upon which to pour out your relatable yet thoroughly original sentiments (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

Ahem...I am too much in my tears for this one. It is one that hits where it hurts too much to speak....but as always I'll be back to it ...because it will lead me right where I need to be. Thanks Cee!

[Crowley]

Sorry Q, thanks for reading though!!!

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

Don't be sorry for pushing the buttons on the remote,I can't reach...It's happening...