Gaining Weight

Gaining Weight

A Poem by Crowley
"

The people we meet....

"
 

 

Gaining Weight

Did I just say that out loud
Do you expect anything short of crass, sophomoric behavior?
My assessment of the situation is tangently accurate
I pry with soft fingers, feelings hidden by your subtle use of allusion

I ease it out of you instinctively, it’s not ESP, its not Psych 101
You release the emergency break, your tongue and mind rolls
Awkward subjects out, the only real way to deal with this s**t
Your body, just recyclable packaging to keep experiences from leaking

Your breathing slower now, the ache gone, heart unblocked
You ask me “does this make sense,” a knowing nod
Tears and a handful of Oreos, milk to wash down the suffering
You didn’t think I would understand, you know that I, have it together

It frightens me to see this in you
Just this morning the same thing sat on my brow, breaking my back
It never left really, but it just got heavier as I took yours, but I am glad
That you are finally at peace with yourself

© 2010 Crowley


Author's Note

Crowley
Thanks for reading.

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Reviews

Man, this shoulda been my very first read! You just mind f8cked me outta my snack. Love this like a fat girl loves peanut butter with a starcrunch!

Posted 2 Years Ago


Crowley

2 Years Ago

Its like when you always have that person in your life that drains the shut out of everyone they tou.. read more
first, the tongue has a parking brake? who knew. That aside, this piece, "Gaining Weight" is a heavy piece. The opening line sets everything up. Then this line, "Your body, just recyclable packaging to keep experiences from leaking" pulls the shutter f-stops to infinity. And then we're sitting having oreo cookies and milk... yeah, peace comes at a price. Fine writing here.

Posted 2 Years Ago


lol The best weight I EVER lost was my ex . . . all 180 pounds of him and for all the reasons you mention here.

Posted 10 Years Ago


"Just this morning the same thing sat on my brow," what a wonder way to convey worry/ burden. Now give me back my nachos.

Posted 10 Years Ago


you have amazing insight ..

Posted 10 Years Ago


A sweet write. At first you give the bottom line synopsis of the situation and then realize the other just needs a shoulder and you give yours freely and with empathy. I see this as you taking on the pain of another, taking on their worry, and taking it off their shoulders and adding it to yours. I'm probably completely wrong in my interpretation, but either way I enjoyed this very much. It gave me a sad and tired feeling reading this. Well done, my friend.

Posted 10 Years Ago


this one broke my heart utterly so tender, and so loving. that final stanza simply made me ache. it is a singularly captivating write. gentle, giving and wholly vulnerable.

i know this narrator. i see her in the mirror everyday..

Posted 10 Years Ago


I may be totally misunderstanding this piece of yours man, but I don't see this being about actual weight gain.
I find it odd that the reviews before me did not offer any insight into their interpretations, just short words to a point of "a knowing nod".

Regardless - What I see here is the person in question going through a hardship (maybe a sister going through a messy breakup), hence "I ease it out of you instinctively, it’s not ESP, its not Psych 101" as emotions for such things are written on the face. What comes next is the temporary healing, "Your breathing slower now, the ache gone, heart unblocked" which oddly enough always ends with tubs of ice cream or "Tears and a handful of Oreos, milk to wash down the suffering". Finally comes the acceptance and support with, "That you are finally at peace with yourself".
Like I said, I am going off on a tangent here and I may be totally wrong (I'm sure you'll let me know), but I just don't see this being as simple as the title suggests having read some of your other work (you're not about simplicity as your writing is intricate).

I'll be honest in saying that I did not enjoy this piece as much as your other ones, but we can't create gems all the time :)

Nicely done.

btw...I absolutely LOVE the line,
"Your body, just recyclable packaging to keep experiences from leaking"

Posted 10 Years Ago


Another great one.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Your mind is so beautiful that it's frightening...fantastic to the highest degree.

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on May 11, 2010
Last Updated on May 11, 2010

Author

Crowley
Crowley

Phoenix, AZ



About
Like to hang out with other writers and see what's what. Have met a lot of good people on this and other sites through the years. Decided to come back and do a little posting and reading. Hit me up i.. more..

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