Valley of shadow and doubt

Playing with the ten-syllable word count again.

 

 

 

 

 

I saw thousands upon thousands of souls.

 

A guillotine was our only parole.

 

We were in line because of no way out.

 

"Lord your will shall be done!" we cry and shout.

 

In this hour we become martyrs and saints.

 

The weak of heart prayed, and then we would faint.

We shook

and whimpered

before we died.

 

Faithful believers, piled up like the tide.

 

The rapture came a day too late for us.

 

 

Being judged by a dark world made church-less.

 

One by one

large blades severed our voices.

 

I was here...

because of Godly choices.

 

 

 

Author's Note

I felt compelled to write about a dream I had a few months back. My subconscience is often plagued with religious fear that was often engrained into me as a child. I will confess to believing in God. But why do I fear? Perhaps that was the purpose of this vision "dream"....to shake me during a moment of doubt. I say vision because this is not the first...I doubt it will be the last....meaning it's nolonger a dream when it comes to past.

Reviews

[roarke]

dreams can be great structures for writes, if you can wrangle them. There's clarity in some form of mystical allegory, but not for the conscious wakening. As subconsciously inspired as this was, you've crafted it into a solid prose that serves to illustrate to it's readers.

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Muse

My turn?

Visions of shadow and doubt?

Religious upbringing engrained in childhood?

Dreams and nightmares?

I know all about it.

Now you enter my territory.

I find this well written and it speaks to my heart.

With my warmest regards as ever

James

[James Hanna-Magill]

PS Perhaps I might have better expressed this by adding 'I am entering your territory' too. Life is nothing if it is not joint. It is a shared experience. As writers, and with the stroke of a pen, we all have the opportunity, freely gifted, to make it a better place for us all to live in.

[Muse]

I revised a line...I think it flows much smoother now. Thank you for you insight and kind words.

[SyberRose]

You did a great job with the syllable count...dreams are mysterious aren't they...
I dreamt I was in a big rig truck last night and couldnt get out..I think I am watching too many trucker shows ..ha...yes we all fear the unknown but as they say nothing to fear but fear itself..easier said than done...nice to meet you again Muse...enjoyed your poem...SyberRose

[Muse]

maybe you have a secret wish...to own your own Monster truck? Sorry I couldn't resist. ;)

[SyberRose]

Haha...maybe

[jerrypat]

I was religiously indoctrinated as a child, but it never took on me. When they told me of things that happened in the Bible, and showed me pictures, all I could comprehend was something out of a comic book. What they told me about whales swallowing men and a small handful of fishes feeding thousands of people, and other such miracles, I found very difficult to believe even as a child. On the other hand, I believe also if people would adhere to the Ten Commandments, it would end all wars and put divorce lawyers out of business.

[Muse]

thank you for your feedback...some of it I agree with. I do believe in miracles...and I have a vast imagination....so it was easy for me to believe.

[Distant horizons]

Even forgetting the ten syllable count, which I did because I only saw it after I read it the first time, this is brilliant. The first line sets the atmosphere perfectly and goes on to deliver a far bigger story than twelve lines should. Superb.

[Muse]

thank you. :))

[Neville]

You are not alone my 'Friend' in fact, you are probably in a significant majority. Unfortunately though, too few have the courage of their own convictions to actually dare make reference to whatever it is they, fear, doubt, despise etc etc.

Religion and or faith are all too frequently hammered into us, often cruely and unrelentingly so by often misguided, sometimes psychopathic individuals, but almost always in the name of some higher 'Good' - I chose Buddhism when I felt old enough to choose which many wrongly take to be a religion, but is rather 'A way of life'

Hey whether I am spot on or a million miles off the mark, it does not really matter in the long run, you have crafted a good read here and one that encourages the reader to contemplate before making a hasty decision whether they like or dislike it. As far as I am concerned, I like it okay... All Good Things, Neville

[Muse]

majority yes...maybe...but why...why don't more speak out?

[Neville]

Fear usually, often the fear of pain, ridicule or some other equally unpleasant but nevertheless negative consequence. Guilt too, that uniquely human emotion that can eat one alive over a period of a lifetime from inside but hey, All Good Things eh, N

[.]

~ this is a very perplexing issue... it's great that you expressed your perspective... it's only through expression and sharing that true conversations can be triggered...

~ every time a truly tragic event occurs and innocent humans die, i wonder about life and death... and...of course...religion... ~ for instance, when the Connecticut shooting happened, i wondered about those innocent children and i wondered about the shooter too...if he was ill or he was evil...

~ when terrorists attack in the part of the world where i live... i wonder about them and the people who die in terrorist attacks... and i think... that innocent people simply don't deserve to die...

~ two very devout christians have given me an explanation for this... one of them said that those who go early (especially children) are called by God because he loves them more... another said that those who go early (especially children) have learnt all the lessons they needed to learn on earth very quickly... ~ these explanations give me some peace... and i am able to accept the death of innocent people...

~ what i also find interesting is that those who die in tragic events... are immortalized in our minds... even if we don't recall their names... or haven't seen them... such as the victims of 9/11... ~ so, i don't think that the timing of death has any significant impact on the life of a person if measured through the lens of how long a person is remembered... rather than how long a person lived physically... but this is just my personal opinion... i am okay with no one agreeing with me...

~ also... just last night... i saw a film called "the child"... and it introduced me to the concept of "cryptomnesia"... (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptomnesia)... it's an amazingly insightful concept...

~ wiki says...

Cryptomnesia occurs when a forgotten memory returns without it being recognised as such by the subject, who believes it is something new and original. It is a memory bias whereby a person may falsely recall generating a thought, an idea, a song, or a joke, not deliberately engaging in plagiarism but rather experiencing a memory as if it were a new inspiration.

The word was first used by the psychiatrist Théodore Flournoy, in reference to the case of medium Hélène Smith (Catherine-Élise Müller) to suggest the high incidence in psychism of "latent memories on the part of the medium that come out, sometimes greatly disfigured by a subliminal work of imagination or reasoning, as so often happens in our ordinary dreams."

Carl Gustav Jung treated the subject in his thesis On the Psychology and Pathology of So-Called Occult Phenomena (1902) and in an article, Cryptomnesia (1905), suggested the phenomenon in Nietzsche's Also Sprach Zarathustra. The idea was studied or mentioned by Géza Dukes, Sándor Ferenczi and Wilhelm Stekel as well as by Sigmund Freud in speaking of the originality of his inventions.

[Muse]

I have heard about this theory in an indirect manner. Some people use this to try and debunk the feeling of deja vu, reincarnation...prophesy.

[.]

~ the thing is... and this is just my personal opinion... ~ that religion and education need to work together... and not be at loggerheads with each other... ~ i was once telling someone that i have absolutely no recollection of when or how i learnt urdu... and immediately someone brought up reincarnation... when the truth is... that one of my ancestors... was very fond of urdu... and all that has happened is... that i inherited things from him... just as one would inherit a physical attribute... such as height or complexion or facial features... ~ intuitively, i am an aspiring sufi poet... so i believe in religion and the power of devotion... ~ in my mind, religion and rationale don't clash... ever... ~ there is no contest... :)

[.]

~ p.s. religion (as some famous author once said)... is codified ethics... that's all...

[Pax]

fear is a choice, doubt is the voices we always try to avoid...
dream is the combination of many... fear, doubt, hopes&wishes, deep&shallow fantasies, reality-based emotional ponderings&wonderings, and etc... there are many forms that build our fear... and our doubt helps built it more into a strong-hold...

I see death in this piece... somehow a vission of our future death if we are too consumed of what something we indulge so much....

Religion ~ well its an endless debate of what to believed... i can only say believed in what your heart&faith believes in...

well expressed ms. Muse...
great job!

[Muse]

thank you for your kind words Pax. xo

[Kenneth The Poet]

Reminds me of the Left Behind series, especially the scene where the female believer is lead off as she sings hymns praising God.

[Muse]

good book!

[Souladareatease]

An Incredible scary write Dear Muse, It flows along with an easy rhythm despite the stark images!!!
excellence!!!
I have followed, and interpreted my dreams since Youth, and my Mother before I could.
many Truths within them, many can just be a source of laden fears or hopes without realization of the actual.
many thoughts upon all that and way too much blabbering I can do:)
but whatever "IS" gave us the core sense of right from wrong, so if You know that...I think there is much safety n it----come any judgment
tread light upon the earth...
these works of art help, adding light too :)

[Muse]

I just let the cafe take a look at my naked self...my biggest fear...my own faith.

[Souladareatease]

Lol---Tis one of its goals I fear...no offense meant to You, or Your faith, only that it was shaped through years by mans hand...despite it's Divine truth beginnings......many faiths hold their numbers through fear......I liked Faith on Buffy the vampire slayer...remember Her??? She was a faith I held at one time:)
and a '70's group Blind Faith...I dug them....I have many faiths in many things...but I digress...I thank You for sharing, because it came out as a truly wonderful work!!!

[R. L. Ives]

This speaks to me in a most gut wrenching way. When I tell you I understand this fear, I'm not just paying lip service.

[Muse]

like I told a fellow friend...what made this disturbing "in my vision" I was having to look for my family...to see if they would run or stand by my side. Some of us hope and pray for the rapture" those who believe in it"...but chances are...persecution could begin before then. And what if....what if? It burdens my thoughts from time to time.

And this could be for any religion...not just Christians...but anybody that believes in a God outside of this material world.