Ours

 

 

                                    Staying submerged felt

                           endless...

                                    boundless...

 

but one can only hold their breath for so long

               before our lungs require us to resurface

                             I was trying to remember when

             .....................

 

              "when" our imperfections

      became their beauty mark

                                 and the mercury in their blood           

                                   became our electrolyte

 

       they said that we can be like airplanes

                              and fly high above the freak show

         but little did any of us know

                               

                  the red tide had grown too high                      

                            swallowing up our dignity and pride                             

          forcing us instead

                             to travel by land

                sadly...

                 we failed to rescue one of our own

                 our yellow submarine

             

                              could not save the canary

                  perhaps...

 

              the drowning was necessary.

 

Author's Note

There has been a lot of fighting recently on the cafe. Writers in this place seem to be so deep in water..they are oblivious to how they treat one another...oblivious to how certain actions and words can pull another writer down, hence "the canary" representing the few writers that are trying to fly high above the chaos, and remain "creatively free"...but harsh words and criticism are weighing these writers down. "The drowning was necessary" a metaphor to represent the writers who try and stay afloat "by elimating the competion"

Reviews

[Star]

the waters can me such a beautiful place but yet can be a place of horror....I love this. I did not realize people did not get along on here and fighting. ugh... I sure hope I don t encounter that, because I am here purely for the craft of writing, to get improve myself and be of help to others...honestly.. and I don't want to have all the drama...ugh.. you are a wonderful poet Muse and thanks for interacting with me.

[unsavable_soul]

Interesting,
I read through it three times. This is very cryptic from where I stand. Very elegant as is your natural ability, but it's deeper meaning if you will is elusive to me. Very deep...
Indeed, very deep...
Sincerely
Christopher

[Muse]

it is very deep water, you better wear your life jacket. ;)

[unsavable_soul]

I like to swim, sinking's okay as well. I tend to often where lead shoes anyway.

[Souladareatease]

I love the way You styled this out, freakin awesome!!!
subject wise it made me think of a wandering write ( a dream write) I love those kind...seeing what comes out when we set the mind adrift..things important or weighing creep in and things of dreams and ponderings do as well...
this cryptic piece has me think in many directions...dangerous for klutzy blokes such as I!!! A wonderful work Dear TCL!!! I Loved it!!!!

[Muse]

I was stuck on this write for about a month, then this morning "like you said" it didn't matter if it made any sense..I just let it go....

[Souladareatease]

:) I Love it:)))

[Sami Khalil]

I like this deep , thought provoking write...Well penned with as good message...:)

[Muse]

we are debating on the message...during the time I wrote this...it was still unclear.

[Sami Khalil]

In life we there are many drowning victims , some learn how to swim and make it and some don't. Storms come from every place or direction so we have to learn the coping mechanisms even in love relationships... That is what I got from it but I could be wrong...:)

[Androglossia]

It is human nature to dream and to pursue our dreams because we are intellectual beings given the right to move forward but in this present time, the current political climate all over the world adds a lot of tension to an already interesting era and sometimes using any form of Act to intimidate everybody. The Law and the lawmakers themselves always butt into the situation like they know everything suppressing the minority. Sometimes they help at the end, sometimes they don't. This poem is intricate and can be full of red herrings.

[Muse]

i never intended this to have a political feel, but looking back, I can see how it is a reflection of the current climate. We want change...and we want to help, but instead we stay under...holding our breath...waiting...waiting...for the next drowning victim.

[Androglossia]

When I saw the word red tide and the hint of suppression throughout the poem, the theory or practice of political anarchism instantly came to mind. Your poem can bring readers into so many different levels and in my case, it brought me to the bigger world.

[Muse]

maybe we need to drown the stupid part of humanity...build an arc...must pass IQ test to get on boat?

[Androglossia]

Haha, isn't implementing IQ test a bit crude when we speak about humanity? Unless the arc is only 25 meters wide. Well I guess drowning is necessary to remind ourselves the importance of flying. See? Your Nutella poem stirs the mind.

[Muse]

hey how did you know about my nutella. ha ha ha, that Frieda!

[Androglossia]

Oh yeah, I've read her comments, lol. I would change the title to Nutella if this was mine ;P

[Muse]

lol, I'll sleep on that.

[Androglossia]

lol :P

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

preoccupied in the thoughts that follow this rare read
i am not high on weed...im not a canary eating seed
but i will be a hollow flexible reed by the stream ..and watch the waters recede

[Muse]

many of us wait...for the waters to recede.

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

when the waters recede completely....the scrolls of knowledge hidden in an antique pottery vase will be seen on the river bed...
the scrolls read in ancient Aramaic:
Let go!

[Muse]

Maybe I should have titled this the dead sea scrolls? lol

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

why dont u then?

[Muse]

I wasn't trying to be prophetic.

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

but i liked the poem...
it was in a strange way....patriotic...
to the one they call 'the-self'

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

thx for your reads

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I have no fear of drowning. It's a dangerous thing that has swept me into the depths of the ocean more than once. I find the water comforting; a bit like returning to mother's womb where all was safe and soothing. My lack of pride has led me to some desolate places as well; where the dregs of society meet with haunting stares round trashcan fires. Even the lost souls strive to maintain some dignity and I've wondered for whom. It's funny to find vanity in a place with no mirrors. But some people and places are like anchors to those swimming for their lives...they have to be cut loose to reach the safety of shore. Not even the strongest swimmer stays afloat forever. I enjoyed this very much.

[Muse]

interesting interpretation. Your say that not even the strongest floaters can stay a float forever. Sounds like the titanic...we cannot be fooled by high hopes and dreams....there will always be somebody stronger than us to knock us off our pedestal.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Profound write!... We cannot control the "red tide", but at least trying was a great effort to save the little canary...drowning forces us to see ourselves and so it was not a complete loss...sad, yet very necessary... Brilliant piece...~xo~

[Muse]

you understood it perfectly...the redtide, the irony of trying to save a bird while underwater...only fate can play a hand in any of it.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

So true...very intriguing write, you kept my mind reeling...

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

alien-lords bless them i pray...keep em happy and safe night and day

[quinfinn]

there is no dignity in drowning....and swallowing one's pride is, in a sense, a drowning. this prose resonates, sticks in the craw and envelopes the psyche. awesomely penned.

[Muse]

thank you. :))

[quinfinn]

welcome!

[David Scott]

Water and blood. The spiritual mediums that symbolize death, and life. Cleansing and rebirth. Your poem tells of a "baptism" that does not save everyone. The happy groupthink of "the yellow submarine" will only let us breath for so long...
"they said that we could be like airplanes". Yet now, we must "travel by water".
Once again Muse, you blend the obvious with cryptic symbolisms and allow the reader to feel the poetry long before the meaning sinks in; if it ever really does. In that case, "perhaps the drowning was necessary."?

[Muse]

cryptic yes, I myself tried to interpret the meaning of it. Each time I read it, I walk away with something different. Written by alter ego I suppose.

[David Scott]

Ha! Dear old "Alter". ;) We get some interesting work done when we sacrifice our ego upon the alter... How's that for wordplay?
Each write is magnetic Muse! Your gifted. Thank you for sharing your gifts.

[Muse]

and you are a saint. :)

[lee von cleef]

Plucked from us to spare them the pain. Philosophy ... but me, i still hurt...

[Muse]

we all do...water can not numb the reality of it all.