Gasoline

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  We tried to fix up a home,

a two car garage, white picket fence, with a flower bed.

 

 Surely we could not have known,

our diminutive secrets carried by termites would spread.

An infestation grows within these walls like a dam under pressure.

 

 CONTORTING.......

 

((((Swelling))))

 

From all of our weight, and untimely measure.

 

Rusting pipes from my leaking tears.

 

There are no curtains to hang,

we're made vulnerable by these transparent shears.

The neighbors looking in,

wondering who is to blame.

                                       

Even with more primer and paint,

I cannot make these walls talk.

I cannot make you a Saint.

 

The ceiling is falling in...... 

This plaster is crumbling down.

 

So I will restore this home with gasoline,

and light a match to wipe the walls clean....

Reviews

[VennelaMargame]

Can I go on an allusion tangent again, Muse?

The beginning reminded me a little of the song "No Surprises" by Radiohead. "Such a pretty house / and such a pretty garden....I'll take the quite life / a handshake of carbon monoxide..."

If you've ever heard the song, you know the sort of heady, balloony feel that the diminished sixth and seventh tones give it. Sort of like what happens when you inhale the vapors of gasoline.

P!nk also had a song about wanting to "burn this f****r down," if I recall, because it was full of bad memories. It was called "Funhouse."

I once wrote a short story called "My Name is High Hopes," written from the perspective of the famous Amityville murder house, in which the house explained that it IS cursed, because it's forced to watch its humans screw up their lives and make each other miserable, and then get blamed for it because it is a big, dumb, defenseless object, and cannot speak up for itself.

[Christina May Shanaberg]

So often, when all of our dreams seem to be coming true, the person whom we chose to share those dreams with tears it all apart. I have been through this several times and, almost, wish not to go through it again. We have to keep trying and dreaming. Written well! I saw it and felt it!!

[Judy Ponceby]

Excellent! Your use of font size, shape and color add so much to the movement of this piece. And wonderful imagery evoking such emotions! Great work Muse :)

[E.J. Wallace]

Wow, what a powerful poem. Your use of imagery is excellent. Great job.

[Allen Smuckler]

Terrific "visual" write, Muse...sometimes appearance is as important as content, imagery, rhythm and rhyme. This had all those elements, but I especially liked Contorting and (((swelling)))...very creative and unique...and the red print...fire if you will.
You also did a great job with your rhyming schemes without letting them get in the way of the flow of the poem.
i really liked this, Beth
allen

[An owl on the moon]

You paint that picture of external beauty, then strike deep with what lies underneath... Rocking metaphor of a world come undone. (I am a very visually oriented person, and simply love the color and movement of your letters with the life of your message...)

[SpokenWord]

Nothing cleans like gasoline! Sometimes we have to destroy what we have so that we can rebuild what we need or want. It is hard to do but sometimes it is required. As with the house in this poem I find this in my everyday life as I change and the world also changes sometimes I have to clean house and start from a clean slate. :) Enjoyed the read.

[Ruth]

Oh wow! Absolutely superb work!
This is fantastic imagery :) Wiping the slate clean is a sacrifice in itself...fire and all is cleansed, so to speak...I love this!
xx

[Pablo]

Well placed words, images!

As David Bowie sings, "... And I've been putting out the fire with gasoline ..."

[Tate Morgan]

Noiw that is using your head beter to let go sometimes

[Chris]

Power-full way to restart

Chris