Doesn't anyone see?

Doesn't anyone see?

A Poem by Call Me Blu

Doesn't anyone see

how much he torments me?

Day in and day out

If I scream he shouts

But I am never heard

If I say not a word

Let him fall to the ground

It's my fault for not being around

They only see the good

His angel face and  all they should

But I am the bad one

The one who turned out wrong

Wants to be a writer?

Cry me a river then

Write me a song

He wants to be a doctor or chemist

I work my a*s off for what I earn

Treasure evrything I learn

But look!

On the horizon!

A next chance!

A fresh start

His name will not be named

It creates to much pain

But lets just say

I would die to be an only child

For just one day

© 2011 Call Me Blu


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Reviews

very, very true. i enjoyed the flow of this peice, and the emotion was all there, great job :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


I may be wrong but I think that this piece is about the persona being compared to someone (possibly a sibling). This could be really hard especially when we're tlking about writing verse something 'practical' like medicine. I feel the frustration in this piece. Good piece(Just some simple errors to be fix)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Very good but very sad. People can feel frustrated when you seem like the only person in the world. That no one cares. But people do, you just don't see it sometimes.

Posted 8 Years Ago


there are a few spelling mistakes here but otherwise the concept is good and writing sound. I do feel the rhyming takes away from the maturity of the poem, something just doesn't feel real about some so heartbroken using similar sounding words at the end of every sentence.

Posted 8 Years Ago



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4 Reviews
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Added on July 23, 2011
Last Updated on July 23, 2011

Author

Call Me Blu
Call Me Blu

At the end of the rainbow



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Im on twitter! Add me, Thecookie1998! You don't hafta, but watevsers. My name is hannah and I'm only twelve but I've been through alot. Bad friends, bad people. I got my second chance on here and I ho.. more..

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Ugly Ugly

A Poem by Call Me Blu