the world lost a awesome man

the world lost a awesome man

A Poem by Sarah

today is black the sky is gray
it hurts right now but it will be okay

the world lost a man that was a soldier of him and the world
he fought threw all to stay alive and god called him home

he's looking at me now wondering why I am writing this but it makes sense
he touched everyone in his own special way today his body took over his mind and heart

so now I'm writing in rememerince of him and tring not to weep myself to sleep

© 2010 Sarah


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I HATE pointing out typos in such pieces, but I must. It's "sense" not "sence" and "memrince" I don't think is a word. "In Memorium" (which I'm pretty sure I mispelled) would be much more appropriate - I would strongly recommend Tennyson's "In Memorium" - a long, emotive mourning of a beloved.

"Better to have loved and lost
Than not have loved at all"

Sorry for your loss.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




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EMP
This is such a sweet and effective poem. I'm sorry for your loss.
I think it would be even more perfect if the typos were sorted out but to be honest, they're irrelevant in such a powerful poem. also, I like how you've not used any capital letters... i think it emphasizes the sadness of the poem. good write, well done :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is a sad, wonderful poem that has some distracting typos, but it's still good.

Posted 13 Years Ago


very good write. very beautiful. sorry for your loss.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I lost my grandfather not too long ago. I feel your pain. Great write, and I'm very sorry for your loss.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I'm sorry for your loss...

But I have to agree with everyone else on this, there are a bunch of typos that you should fix, they take away from the poem.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Nice poem, and I'm very sorry for your loss. But...yeah. A bunch of typos and grammatical errors. I don't want to say something like that for a piece like this, but they are still there.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I HATE pointing out typos in such pieces, but I must. It's "sense" not "sence" and "memrince" I don't think is a word. "In Memorium" (which I'm pretty sure I mispelled) would be much more appropriate - I would strongly recommend Tennyson's "In Memorium" - a long, emotive mourning of a beloved.

"Better to have loved and lost
Than not have loved at all"

Sorry for your loss.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I suggest reading it over a few times there are just a few spelling mistakes, including the title. "a awesome" should be "an awesome". Besides that it is very heartfelt...Poetry in my opinion is often the best way to express loss while at the same time honoring the person.... Very nice.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I hope all is peace in your mind. This moments shared make us feel the humanity in a virtual world.

Thanks for sharing.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Oh wow... that's deep, and painful. I really like how you didn't try to be extravagant or anything with it, but kept it down to a bare-bones truth. Really gets the message across, and you did a wonderful job with this.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 29, 2010
Last Updated on December 28, 2010
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Sarah
Sarah

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