Someone who doesn't make me feel crazy

Admittedly, I am lonely.

I want more love in my life. 

I want to hold another human close to me 

and make them feel good, and feel that thrill

I want to be excited about someone and sweet on someone

I want someone to cook for, to try my food experimentations,

to cook for me too, sometimes.

I want someone passionate, even if the things they are

passionate about are different than mine.

I want someone who gets up in the morning with a reason.

I want someone who is patient and kind and reassuring

when I get neurotic.

Who is stable and dependable, who doesn't mind

when I am none of those things.

Who will allow me to push away quickly 

and pull back even quicker.

Who will read my poetry and not laugh.

Who doesn't tell me not to be sad

Who encourages the tears because they know

they are cleansing and necessary, 

even if it takes a few dramatic sobs to get there.

Who sees that I am frustrated with myself only because

I want to be better.

Who also wants to be better.

Who shares this sense of desperation

that I will never be able to shake.

Who lets me mope when I want to mope, 

and rejoice when it's time to rejoice,

even if there's no rhyme or reason to it.

Someone who doesn't make me feel like I need to stay bottled up.

Someone who lets me pour it all out and will lap it back up

off of the floor with me.

Someone who never makes me feel crazy.

Most especially that.

Someone who never makes me feel

crazy.

Author's Note

this didn't start out a poem, just an outpouring. haven't been writing because i gave another try to a romantic pursuit that again proved fruitless. having trouble seeing how anyone ever trusts anyone else. having trouble believing someone exists.

Reviews

[kentuck14]

Lizard,
Been married to the same woman for nearly 45 years. Yes . . . we love each other . . . but it still takes WORK. I wrote something similar to this poem and it's on this site . . . "Desire's Road." Many commented on having the same struggle in their life. At the time I thought I was the only person who ever dealt with a very common human experience . . . the desire to love and be loved. Chris is right . . . no one can perfectly fulfill anyone's desires . . . and it shouldn't be, because when we go that route we become possessive. (I've just had a poem accepted that talks about this.) Don't give up Lizard (I hope you don't go by this name when you meat a potential love interest!!)
Just joking! Writing a great way to deal with life's frustrations . . . you're on the right track.
Tom

[Chris Shaw]

I have read your outpourings and totally understand where you are coming from. Some of your desires are identical to mine. However the chances of you finding someone who matches that long list of high expectations is probably zilch. I reckon if you got half of them you would be doing well. The one about poetry, particularly resonated with me. I have been married for 36years and my other half shares not the slightest bit of interest in my poetry. He treats it as a complete waste of time :) I say keep looking and pray for a miracle lizardbrain. All good wishes.

Chris

[lizardbrain]

thanks chris, i know all these aren't possible but maybe just enough to be happy!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we all have our quirks and so-called craziness...especially poets...but when we can be with someone who totally lets us be who we are and doesn't try to rearrange us...we get very lucky...
i, too, have not been so lucky there...a few exes who accepted me for who i was to begin with, or pretended to...but then tried to mold me to expectations...i hate expectations and don't live up to them, either by accident or on purpose.
really good outpouring of feelings here.
j.

[lizardbrain]

i live in a constant state of being in awe of those couples i know who seem to accept each other (and tolerate each other) completely! one day, j

[John the Baptist]

Sounds like a checklist, which can end up in frustration. It's good to have standards; just don't be rigid about them.

[lizardbrain]

these are my ideal standards but in reality, my standards are probably too low :)