Father's Unofficial Eulogy

Father's Unofficial Eulogy

A Poem by holly
"

Dr. Thomas K. Reed died March 16th, 1966 - he was 65.

"
 
 
forty springs - snow drifts
 
between - my heart-clock sprung -  mourn
 
motionless in time

© 2008 holly


Author's Note

holly
Is this true haiku, do you think?

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I once tried to explain the usual definitions of Haiku to a Cafe person, and was roundly abused as being a showoffy prick. Re-reading what I said, I disagree.
So. to my point. The structure is not all that important in poetry. (I'm old-fashioned, preferring rhyme and metre) Some would argue that even in prose, structure, and plot are not all that important. The content, the feelings engendered in the reader, these are what count. Especially in poetry.
Haiku. Senryu. Who cares?
We get it.
ATB
Alex.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I haven't seen haiku in a long time, since school I think. Very good, and expresses your point very well.

Posted 10 Years Ago


i'd do this: ,motionless,

in that way there's another delicious pause and it services two things in that the form matches the word (by pausing) and it leaves a window for the mourning process to happen, i like it because it strikes me that this person (the narrator) is shell-shocked and unable to begin that process. And, as a whole the rhythms and impact of the particular words, it's ugh, and ugh: in the sense that it's a real gut punch poem.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Very, very well written and expresses, effectively, quite a bit of true emotion, for such a short piece!

Posted 10 Years Ago


An amazing choice of words. Precise indeed. It captures the feeling perfectly and have created the mood magnificently. This is a gem of a poem!

Posted 10 Years Ago


It is perfect. I'm sure that the true haiku masters appreciated this for the lofty art that it is. Wonderful descriptive. Pure poetry.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Haiku for sure and so precisely conveys the emotions of your loss.
Well done!
Sallie Bear

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I would say, yes, a true haiku. What's more, it is a wonderful haiku. Word choice: exceptional!

Sal

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

While I am nowhere qualified to make the call, it's probably closer to a senryu. It is, however, what a good haiku should be--somewhat ethereal in its treatment of the tangible and corporeal, and highly evocative. A solid piece of work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on August 3, 2008

Author

holly
holly

near Cleveland, OH



About
Do we get to choose who we are, or are we limited by where we live, how we grow up, what we do to earn money? My unchosen facts: I'm old, live in the eastern Mid-West US, grew up with a huge chip on m.. more..

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