LASTING MEMORY

having memory problems myself recently making writing harder than normal gave me the idea for this....

lasting memory

l try so hard to find the right words,

but my mind continues to fail me.

I see you looking, I try again. 

I know I loved you but why..and when?

I reach out a hand; you hold it, so gentle -

'who am I too you?' I scream inside-

while down my lined cheek a tear slides.

A trembling smile begins at my lips;

I recall us now: at a beach sharing chips,

watching t.v as you got down on one knee,

with a voice full of hope, asking, 'Will you Marry me?'

I hold on to the picture, say it out loud.

Your eyes shine, hearing this last memory 

of mine; as I drift, smiling, into an eternal

sleep where all my memories will be mine

to keep.

Author's Note

Dementia..Altzeimers..can't imagine how hard it is to watch a loved one slip away to this illness..must be so hard..all comments and criticisms welcome..

Reviews

[Robin Goodfellow]

It's hard for me, because I volunteer at a Memory Care residence for people with dementia. It's very sad, but incredibly touching when the family members come. Sometimes, the residents remember, and sometimes they don't. But when they do remember, it's golden.

[hcarson]

i also worked in care and looked after a man with dementia..it was so sad..he remember nothing really except where he worked at a train station when he was a young man. so sad :(

[maria ( rose)]

very emotional poem to read and digest it's a horrible disease. Thanks for sharing your thoughts & I wish you well also.
maria

[hcarson]

Thank you maria, it is a terrible disease but mmay be one it will be something more curable, your comment is much appreciated, wishing you well also 😊

[maria ( rose)]

thank you so much💝

[Robert Parlange]

Memories are precious commodities. Over the last few years I learned just how precious they are. Hold on to them and make more. Hug your significants while you can and tell them what they need to hear. There are no “do-overs” in life.

[hcarson]

very true, you never know when you will lose someone and be left with nothing but memories so best we make the most of them :)

[L u n a]

Beautiful, it must be a blessing to have a man like that ;)
I hope he's good for you and it was a nice write.
Keep going.

[hcarson]

thank you luna, glad you liked it, and i appreciate your comments very much ;)

[L u n a]

your welcome!

[barleygirl]

This is heartbreakingly tender!!!! I'm almost crying!!! I have some memory issues due to a bad neck injury, but I can only imagine how tragic it would feel to be the narrator of this poem, with issues to this degree. You've pegged this on every level. The earnestness, the honesty, the determination to hold onto a thought that's bound to slip thru one's fingers (happens to me constantly these days!) I don't even know this situation firsthand, but your poem is so lifelike, it feels as if I've just experienced it.

[hcarson]

thank you Barleygirl, like yourself i'm having memory issues, not to this extent thankfully, i did however care for someone with bad dementia so kind of got to see just how bad it is . it must be so horrid for all involved when this happens to a loved one. thank you for reading, your comments are very appreciated :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i can hear the screams inside, the frustration...reminds me of Dickinson's "i felt a funeral in my brain"

like the speaker knows she has sense still breaking through, but also senses she is losing her mind...that awareness of becoming unaware...and the "finished knowing then"
is that ending that is dreaded.

well done, here.

[hcarson]

you have got it spot on Jacob :) thank you so much for your review, i appreciate it very much :)

[Inject Positivity]

Even without any illness im forgetting what i have to keep in mind... it is hard to take... you did a brilliant job to pour out the true feelings... i know how hard it is for you or for anyone.... an illness like that is unbearable... and the most sad part of it is that there is no real cure of that illness.... brilliant use of simplicity and i loved how they really spoke the feelings.... i think there is a printing mistake in the line "who am i too you? ", i think you wanted type ''to" instead of "too".... another excellent example of your ability to write down your heart and mind.... full ratinga dear frnd...

[hcarson]

you know me and my spelling IP, not my strongest forte haha, i certainly did mean 'to' haha, thank you for the lovely comments. you are so righ about these illness's, it is so hard to see anyone going through it, watching the core of who they are slowely disappear. I cared for a man with dementia and it was awful sad to see the pictures of who he was before he was robbed of all that made him who he was at the the core so sad ...hope you are feelin g better soon :(

[Inject Positivity]

you are welcome mate.... i understand dear frnd... hey by the way you are doing a great job on poems, what about the story "TRAPPED"?.....

[hcarson]

i want to continue with trapped, i have started a new chapter but i'm stumbling a bit on it to be honest. i need to have a few hours of silence i think to really think about it,now we have the holidays i may get it so hopefully get something up soon. how is your next chapter going?

[Inject Positivity]

i think that's the best thing to do... im confident enough that you'll come up with something great... it's better to take time to think than to write down something in hurry.... that's why im staying away from thinking on writing too much as it is putting pressure on me, so now im working on my next chapter... thank you so much H for encouraging me that day....

[hcarson]

anytime IP thats what friends are for, to help and encourage. you always help and encourage me..couldn't do these things without people like you :)

[Inject Positivity]

absolutely but it is rare to find frnds like you, most people would have left me right there where i was couple of days ago... thank you for being a "true" frnd...

[hcarson]

always here for you, regardless where you are or how you are feeling, just a message away :)

[Inject Positivity]

i know, you are a family member to me... thank you for joining this website... you are a mother like frnd....

[V]

Oh my, nice and somewhat sad words at the same time. Forgetting is a curse, especially when it comes to things you want to keep in mind or when it results in illness. Nicely and lightly (in a good sense) elaborated topic. P.S.:Your last lines read splendid. :)
But what a review of mine would it be without being picky and a tad nagging ^^ - the second stanza is missing a line and the third line reads a tiny little bit clumsy somehow...Other than that it reads well. :)

[hcarson]

thank you :)..yes i agree with the third and missing line part..just didn't know what eles to do with it if i'm honest, had a lot a trouble getting any lines out recently so i just grabbed em as they came lol..may go back and try an improve it sometime..specially that third line bit coz it will bug me now ..thanks for your comments, always appreciated :)

[V]

You're welcome. It'll be nice if you managed to expand it a little. Just one line though even only one can be really struggling at times.

[hcarson]

yes, true..it so hard isn't it when your head is just saying' no..absolutely not' lol..i got so many scraps of paper everywhere at the moment full of scribbles its unreal..my partner going mad at mess i'm making :)

[V]

Haha. I've gone through this time too. Now I can focus better, I manage to type poems directly into the add writing option here without musing too much about single lines or fitting ones. There are still lines and images in my mind I'd like to extend but I'm currently not able to. Doesn't matter. It will eventually work out, one cannot force it.

[hcarson]

i do everything on paper first...i love the feel of paper, the smell...i love ink! i entered the world of kindle kicking and screaming, insisting it would never work...i'm currently on my fourth one..keep running them down through over use lol :)

[V]

That's nice. Goos luck.

[Autonomous]

"I know I loved you but why...and when." my favorite lines. Until that point I was casually reading but I literally gasped a little when the line processed. It was beautiful.

[hcarson]

thank you so much, wasn't sure how this would turn out as have really struggled with writing recently, your comments are very appreciated :)

[Autonomous]

I know how you feel, writing gets difficult especially when you start tripping on the littlest details.

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Oh my, I'm so sorry. I'm glad you were strong enough to share this. I hope youre doing well.

[hcarson]

it isn't based on anything real just in general if you get me. i have memory issues but thankfully nothing to this extent but i just thought how awful it is for those that do, terrible disease