Thunder

First attempt at cinguain...not sure what iam dojng tbh lol

Thunder

Thunder

Sky opens up white

Static ripples throughout

Excitement makes us shudder

Uproar

Author's Note

Comments, criticisms,mistakes maken pointing out welcome as i not tried this before

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

Well chosen subject Helen... The second line could be changed a bit, I will try to find out something... The fourth line got 7 syllables I think, that means you need one more, but as I said you have just began to write this form and I'm very happy by the pace of your progress...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[hcarson]

your correct about the fourth line..not sure how i initially made it 8 but anything is possible with me as you no haha. thanks for your review, as you know titally appreciated :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

not familiar with the form....but i like the loudness that echoes in the piece, of both an actual storm, and also the turbulence and excitement that mixes within a relationship...

j.

[hcarson]

I also am very new to the form so not entirely sure i even done it correctly but it was fun to try regardless. Thank you for your comment 😃

[Shannon]

I don't know the form. But I like this representaion of Thunder and lightning.

I wonder if second last line could be tweaked a little.

[hcarson]

It possibly could, its one of them knes where u have to have certain amount of syllables in each line but has to start with a noun, then the discription of it and so on so bit tricky..for me anyway as first i ever tried so certainly worth going back to and tweaking when iam more confident i think, your comment as always very much appreciated harpstring 😉

[Shannon]

You are welcome. Trying new things-an exciting challenge.



Glad it's not 'harpie'!

[hcarson]

Haha...never call you that so no worries there 😉