Battles Begin

One Ambulance, several cops, unanswered questions, blank stares and a forgotten note surround her as she stares into the eyes of her "savior" moments before taking what she hopes to be her last breath. Christine and Cameron were supposed to be out all night, they came home too early, were too suspicious of the silence in the house on a Friday evening. Christine slammed the door open singing some karaoke tune from the bar and stopped dead in her tracks.
       There on the blue and white checked tile flooring, lay Kairi, their 16 year old daughter. The room fills with steam from the hot water, creating a mist falling onto Kairis body adding a peaceful and calming effect to the evil smile curled through her lips. Christine could hear the music "Please tell mom this is not her fault" blaring from the headphones in her daughters ears. She screams for Cameron but no sound comes out, she tries and tries again, still no sound. She just scratches at her throat hoping eventually a noise will utter from a mouth, either hers or Kairis. Not knowing exactly where his wife went, plastered Cameron stumbles in almost tripping over his daughters body. He stops, almost an immediate sobering. Christine is calling 911 now, screaming into the phone. Praying they get there soon, trying to sober up, drinking water, puking, anything to make herself seem less guilty. Cameron and Christine can hear sirens and see the flashing lights coming up the road. Neighbors fall out of their houses hoping to see a glimpse of this event in their tiny town. No one was ready for what was about to be wheeled out. Parents, paramedics, cops, all overlook the note that was lying right next to her body.
        They should feel lucky, not a lot of teenagers who choose this path even think of leaving notes. Most leave family and friends wondering what things they've said, or things they've done to possibly trigger this to happen. That's not usually the case, one doesn't wake up on a Saturday morning and decide that they're going to drown themselves in the family pool. No it happens over time, time for any guilt, pain, words, ridicule, hatred, to set in and build up until it all explodes.
        They didn't know Kairi had so many secrets. She had only one true friend, the one that was with her on that night. the one that was staining the floor beside her. The friend who was clutched in her hand, that fell to the ground echoing in every ones ear. This shouldn't have come as a surprise, they should have gotten the warning signs by now, but what signs could you get if you were never home with your daughter. Christine and Cameron were drunks, absolute horrible people but she was spoiled the best they could do at least to make up for it. She didn't have many friends, very few, but the ones she did have she cared deeply for. Even Kairi had her own little secrets and lies, and just like everyone else when one lies it will come to bite them in the a*s and lose everyone. She had her friends who stayed, but none of them noticed what was going on except for a select few, but those select few never mentioned anything, either out of fear of what she might do or they figured she was kidding. Now they're surely blaming themselves, even those friends she kept a secret.
          When it comes to school, she wasn't physically bullied, she wasn't beat by her parents she almost wishes she'd have been punched a couple times. At least then the bruises would go away, but the emotional toll the words had on her left those types of scars that wont fade with cream. She'd start by just hearing the words, walking through the hallways, walking into her own home some days was awful. Too many times she'd lock herself in her room, music blaring trying to drown the evil thoughts, too ugly, too fat. They'd run through her head over and over like a record on repeat. They started as words, that she'd turn from ugly nasty words into her own form of beauty on paper. It didn't take long for the beauty to backfire and find a hiding spot in her mind, and in a few weeks you could see that beauty start to appear as intricate carvings on her forearms, her thighs, her stomach, paintings from another world. Priceless paintings of another kind with no form of brush, or design set all free hand. This was her little secret, a secret she only let few know, she kept most of her secrets buried way, letting no light touch them.
        She can still remember the day she found out she was in love with steel. A glorious day full of tears and joy, a day full of deep regret and pure happiness. That's what her life seemed to be, a confused battle she didn't want to win.

Author's Note

Just help me please with any problems with my writing?

Reviews

[Antoñyo]

Well, you've written an excellent piece as far as I'm concerned. I didn't have trouble with any of it. In fact, some of it hit close to home....really close. And I'm getting a crash course in the study of Sliceology, of which I knew little about not long ago.
I won't clutter this portion with petty criticisms...Nothing but praise.
[ I bow at my exit. ]
Thanks for sharing

[zaneybear]

thank you for bowing at your exit:) tis meant a lot and I'm osrry it hit close to home, it does for a lotof people,i'm struggling with certain things, but we need to stay strong!

[Maggie]

There were a couple things that were run together, but otherwise this piece was powerful and hit home...well done

[Nick Hilton]

I really enjoyed the fifth paragraph. It paints a vivid image that makes me physically cringe. The fourth paragraph needs a little work, though. Not a lot, but I find myself struggling to grasp everything you're trying to say in that paragraph without reading it multiple times.

[zaneybear]

oh my goodness, thank you so much(: i honestly don't know how to go about the fourth paragraph though without comign out and saying it, and i dont want to do that.

[Nick Hilton]

Honestly, it's mostly the flow of those sentences. After "Christine and Cameron were drunks, absolute horrible people but she was spoiled the best they could do at least to make up for it." they seem to be a little disconnected. I see what you are trying to say, though. It just took rereading it a few times :P

[zaneybear]

i need to add in a "to"!!?? or just simply have it be "the best they coult to make up for it" ?

[Nick Hilton]

I'd reword it to be "...but they spoiled her the best they could to make up for it." But I was mostly referring to the sentences after that one.

[zaneybear]

ooooh, i thought i was on to something there:P haha thank you so much for the help:)