A Visit With My Muse and Her Roommate.

My muse is a six-inch lovely named Kimiko, her companion an eight-inch demon named Jin. Kimiko has asked me to visit at their apartment. Says it is important.

As the elevator rises, I'm becoming more nervous with every jerk of the cable.  It's my own fault.  Since I don't visit this imaginary apartment building very often, the maintenance is lousy.   However, my muse has requested a meeting and since I've planned to be in this part of my mind today in any case, we arranged to meet in her apartment.

Kimiko, my muse, is a beautiful six-inch-tall Oriental girl.  She has a Masters in Imagination from Stevie King University and I'm her first project.  So, you could say we're both learning the art of writing.

I can't say the same about her roommate, an eight-inch Chinese lovely named Jin.  Jin is an uneducated demon, by ancestry and nature.  It's a perfect match. While Kimiko strives to make me into a better writer, Jin tries to distract me from my work.  Caught between the two of them, my mind stays active.  Productive is another matter.

Seeing writing in very small glowing characters in a lower corner of the elevator cage, I get down on my knees and slip on reading glasses to study it.

"Roger is a nasty mouse.  He licks Arabella's toes."  And, under it, "Sandy eats boogers."

I sigh.  I should have known better.   Laboriously, old bones protesting, I stagger back to my feet while dusting trouser knees.  Only the Meescowski kids screwing around.  Those mouse children terrorize the other occupants of the building, tripping them and scaring poor Mini Elephant, who's never lost her fear of mice.  Oh, and Arabella is Arabella Spiderski, the Serbian spider who rents an attic closet apartment with her boyfriend, Johnny Flyovich.   Johnny has a good job as Fly Supervisor and S**t Inspector at the City Sewage plant.

At times, I hire all of those virtual characters to act in my stories.  Having them living in my own imaginary apartment house means they're easy to find when needed.  It’s much better than searching throughout the length and breadth of Imagination Land.

Oscar Rat and I have apartments on the fourth floor.  Yes, there is even a virtual Charlie, though I don't care much for his antics.

I continue, jerk by tooth-rattling jerk, up to the fourth floor where the elevator stops to let on Nancy Skunk, Oscar Rat's adopted daughter.  

Nancy is a senior at George W. Animal High School.  The virtual Charlie is trying to teach her to be a writer like Oscar and myself.  However, Nancy is more interested in slipping her tail under virtual Charlie's belt.  One of these days I'm gonna have to sit that little stinker down for a talk on inter-species relationships.

"How's school going?" I ask her as the door closes.

"Okay," she replies. "But I had to spray my boyfriend, Andy Aardvark, again."

"What happened?"  I ask, concerned about the stinker.  I have to remind myself that these characters have their own lives outside my influence and writing.

"We were playing poker, you know?  The winner got to kiss the loser, and Andy won.  I had two aces, but Andy had three a them."  She looks down at the floor, shuffling her feet.

"And what else, Nancy.  Why did you spray him?"

"It was about the kiss, and where, you know?"

"And?"

"And, when he lifted my tail to kiss me there, I sprayed him.  He-he.  You should have seen him jump.  A guy shouldn't kiss a girl ... there.  Aunt Malodor said I did the right thing, even if Principal Stork didn't like the smell."

"Yes, Nancy.  You did the right thing.  I'll talk to Mr. Stork for you."  I look up.  We're getting close to the fifteenth floor, my destination.  "Where you headed now?"

"Up to see Looluu Meeschoi."

Looluu is a North Korean ninja mouse that left her country to work for Georgie Bush.  She's an assassin for our government.  Her, Nancy, and Muriel Meescowski hang out together. Recently, I let them visit Alice Adams in my Wonderland series.

"I didn't know Looluu lived here?  I thought she had a home in Washington DC."

"Oh, yes.  Since her boss left his job, he wanted her and the others to spread across the country.  Some lawyer thing, I think.  So she moved in here."

"What's she going to do to make a living now?"

"That's fixed already.  Looluu’s the security guard for this building.  She ... he-he.  You should have seen it, Charlie.  Right after moving here, Looluu was coming home with an armful of packages.  As she passed the Ratskellar bar downstairs, four of those nasty Nazi biker aardvarks hassled Looluu.  With only her back feet and tail, she beat them up and made them run, not even bothering to put down her groceries first.  The landlord saw it and hired her on the spot."  

The elevator stops on my floor.  "See ya later, Nancy."  I pat her on the head and step into the corridor.  Stopping to get a wildly beating heart under control and wipe a layer of nervous sweat from my brow with a sleeve, I stride quickly to apartment 1510.

The door slams open with my first knock.  Kimiko's standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but a smile.  Before I can speak, or even back up, she jumps up high and throws both arms around my neck, nuzzling and nibbling on a shirt-button, trying to tear it off with lovely white teeth.

Reaching around, I bring her tiny but sweet lips against mine, along with a suction that instantly clears my sinuses.  I step back and pull her willing body off, needing all my virtual strength to do it.

"Alright, Jin.  Where's the real Kimmie?"  I say, holding her away at arms-length.

Still smiling, Jin reverts to her own delicious figure and face, slanted eyes glimmering with mirth.  The luscious now eight-inch demon grins. "I can't fool you, Charlie baby.  One of these days, one of the--"

"Cut it out.  I don't have affairs with demons.  Remember, I know your real looks.  Four-hundred pounds of pure mean, with fangs a foot long."

"That's not me, honeybabe.  That was my cousin Rachel that tried to rape you, and it was only once."

"Once by you, or Rachel, is once too many."  I have to hold onto a wall and shudder at the memory.  I would, I admit, love to know if she is lying, but ... she IS a demon.  Of course she's lying.  Anyway, she’s wearing a lovely disguise.  "Now, where is Kimmie?"

Jin shrugs, nodding toward their bedroom.  I hurry to the door and open it.

"Oh, my God!"  I cry, backing away from the open doorway.  Steeling myself, I reenter the room, eyes fixed everywhere but on Kimmie, lovely luscious eminently desirable six-inch -- though only virtual -- Kimiko, my muse.  

Jin has Kimmie’s arms tied to posts at the head of the bed, legs secured up around her neck, open for the world -- or at least me -- to gaze upon.  I can't do it.  I keep my eyes upward while fumbling at intricate knots, my virtual flesh rubbing against hers as I untie her.  Reaching down, I retrieve a Christmas card that has been inserted.... well ... has been inserted.  It reads:

 "Sorry, babe.  No room for the turkey, dressing uncalled for.  This is your dessert after the main course, standing behind you, lover boy."  Signed, Jin.

About that time, Jin attacks me again, arms around my neck from behind, using demonic strength to hold me steady as she reaches up to nibble on my left ear. I can feel nubile breasts scraping across my back.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrr."  I see a flash of flesh as Kimiko, now released, jerks off a gag and jumps up.  Kimmie, also showing abnormal strength, jerks Jin's arms off me.  I'm thrown aside, to fall against the dresser as the two diminutive virtual women fight over me.  

Head swimming, sight oscillating in and out, I watch the two beautiful but virtual females, muse and demon, go round after round, punching and pulling on long black tresses.  Just as my mind begins clearing and I'm starting to enjoy the sight, Kimmie, on top with perfect globular a*s-cheeks waving, pins Jin to the floor.  Jin visibly deflates, giving up.

"Help me tie her," Kimiko pleads, breathlessly.  I grab at the bed, where the ropes still lie, bring them back, and we tie up the now complacent demon. Although breathing hard, Jin's still smiling.

"Oh, that was nice," Jin stammers.  "Come on.  Untie me and we can do it again.  See, Charlie?  This is my true shape.  If I could've, I'd have changed and kicked both your butts."

"What we gonna do with her?"  I ask Kimiko, trying to concentrate on her lovely though sweating face.

"Leave her alone.  She'll stay worked up for hours."

"But is that safe for you? After I leave, I mean."

"Uh!  Charlie,” Kimiko says, shaking long black hair, “you may have created us, but sometimes you're so darned naive. Don't worry about me."  She winks at Jin, who winks back, licking her lips.  "Now, you go out into the living room while I get presentable," Kimiko orders. 

A few minutes later, dressed in long slacks and frilly blouse, Kimiko returns.  Pouring us both a drink of soda, she settles onto a chair near me.

"What are you doing here?" she asks, worry cresting under bushy black eyebrows.  "Is something wrong with your writing?  I can come over tonight and help, but I want New Year's off.  I know you don't drink, but me, Jin, and Oscar Rat have an invitation to a party."

"You sent me an email, that you wanted to talk something over with me."

Her laughter sounds like loudly tinkling church-bells.  She points at the bedroom and laughs some more.  I get the idea.  It was Jin that sent the email, not her.

We sit and talk for awhile.  Finally, I tell her I have to be going. A publisher wants to see me before five o'clock.

Kimmie walks me to the door, then jumps to my shoulder to kiss me on the cheek.  "I guess I should go in and talk to that demon," she tells me while sliding a whip out of a drawer.  "Don't you think she deserves punishment for calling you over like this?" She snaps the whip in the air.  "You want'a come in and watch before you go?"

"N -- No ... no thanks," I answer, going out the door and quietly shutting it behind me.  Damn, I have to stop again, shivering and trying to get my heartbeat under control.  I really do hate coming over like this.  It takes a lot out of an old writer.  Maybe I'll go down to my virtual apartment and watch porno on the computer or something.  I can take care of myself down there.  Screw that publisher.  I'm too worked up right now.

Charlie