Poem 3.14

...yet words is never enough.

it is rather by willing that

i inquired expression

acquired honed-language

to not bury oneself;

in one way or another

depth of my emotion

heights of my err

would not be flares

burning me within

 

it is through affair that 

by this inquiry

by this acquisition

i have talked to the

deep blue ten times

howled to the moon

like a wolf a hundred times

then, scattered the tidings

that brushed other souls

that,  at the touch 

of each of my song 

someone sang with it 

and danced  to it, and

became a lover himself.

 

it is too by perchance the 

depth and heights  spoken mutely

dove and soared 

into another core

into another one

'til a thousand more

 

but--to you

i have combined a million times 

every letter

to whine, to divulge

the rhythm, the rhyme of my heart

but like whirlwind

each time I have a view of you

each time my fingers crawl

each time my ink flows

it strangely tow us apart

 

furthermore,

the deeper I

the deeper you

feel the piercing breadth

---in between.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Copyright not alone under the terms and conditions of Writers' Cafe, but also under the law of Republic Act No. 8293.

Reviews

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Belle

I thought it high time I looked at one of your most recent poems.

I shall make this a structured review.

And just so as you know, I never read anyone else's reviews before writing my own. I wish my review to be my opinion and not influenced by others' views.

1) Structure of the poem: Five stanzas of varying lengths. Nothing fixed.

2) Rhyme: You have the occasional external rhyme, but it is clear it is not your objective.

3) Rhythm: Given that all the lines are brief and of relatively equal length, read aloud there is a steady beat to it.

4) Punctuation: You choose neither to punctuate nor use capital letters throughout. I like that consistency. Either punctuate fully or not at all. You choose the latter route.

Standing back therefore from the poem and its nuts and bolts, this neatly fits into free verse.

5) Use of English: You have a subtle mix between standard English words and some more colourful ones such as : 'honed' 'err' 'perchance' 'divulge'

6) Allusion, simile, metaphor: I think that allusion and metaphor sit at the heart of this poem, so see impact below.

7) Meaning: As ever for the writer to own and the reader to interpret even if their interpretation is quite different from the writer's original intent. Some poems can be quite transparent. Others like this are more opaque and the reader is left searching for their own meaning. Both methods have equal validity.

So how do I interpret yours?

You leave little clues other than the words on the page and your opening quote: 'yet words is never enough'. Even your title 'Poem 3.14' adds intrigue to the piece.

With the little evidence to go on, I find my meaning as follows.

Writing is a driving passion in your life by which you hope to move the souls of many. Yet in real love. there can be no words to adequately express the depth of feeling. They become so shallow and inadequate, they draw apart rather than bring together.

I would love however to understand the title. Perhaps it is meant to be prosaic as in this is just another poem off Belle's production line and can never be enough to describe the inners passions of the poetess.

In the end, meaning in poetry may just be secondary to the expression of emotion, like a gust of warm air washing over the reader. I feel very much left in this position by this poem.

8) Impact and favourite lines: If I assume the meaning I have attributed to the poem above and look at its impact on me, I find the poem impressively well written. There is much simile and metaphor used throughout.

Let me jus pick three of my favourite lines:

First:

i have talked to the
deep blue ten times
howled to the moon
like wolf hundred times
then, scattered the tidings

You use metaphor here to describe the power of words, of the emotion they can convey, of your desperate search to find them and then share them with others.

Second:

it is too by perchance the
depth and heights spoken mutely
dove and soared
into another core
into another one
'til a thousand more
that brushed other soul

Emotion in poetry can be quietly expressed to impact and affect the reader. Sometimes that can be more powerful.

Third and last, your parting lines:

each time I have a view of you
each time my fingers crawl
each time my ink flows
it strangely tow us apart

furthermore,
the deeper I
the deeper you
feel the piercing breadth
---in between.

Your theme. When it comes to love, words are never enough to capture the depth and breadth of emotion. They are inadequate and confine it. They seek to define the undefinable and thereby limit it. They do not draw the reader and the writer together, the loved and the lover, they rather draw them apart.

9) Overview: A well penned piece of writing, with a rich obscurity of meaning, left open to interpretation.

Bravo


James Hanna-Magill

[Gerry Legister]

the Allusions and metaphor is commendable, nice work

[Belle]

Thank you, Gerry.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. An amazing poem that I can't get enough from . And that music is heavenly...Bravo....................

[Belle]

Thank you, Dear Sami.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)..........................

[Coyote Poetry]

Your writing is getting so good. The poem is amazing. Good description led the reader to good places and thoughts. Thank you for the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I came back to read this again... and this is more enchanting, yet heartbreaking the second time around...
The imagery is timeless... of a lover longing to express the meaning of the pain, which is felt. Beautifully penned!~xoxo~

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we write to purge what is within us, to cope with life...and then we share so that others know they are not alone.

really wonderful piece of poetry here.

[Ency Bearis]

A well expressed wanton introspection you elegantly presented a profound poem.

[Belle]

And this sublime piece of poetry, is a part of your eccentric personality.
I love it, to walk in these thoughts, if we as artists fathom.
Purely real, and merged with much live misery, we become stronger,
And a poet is never finished, in his/her travel... never home, you know...
This was splendid sister.

- Elisa

[Belle]

Thank you. I love the word " part of 'my' eccentric personality.
You made me realize something new. :)

[Dinesh Sairam]

In the earlier lines, I feel like you're explaining the imagery too much. Secrecy is the essence of a good poem. You know, let the reader be lost, find their own way out.

Other than that, I found this rather subtle and life-like. Especially the ending:

the deeper I
the deeper you
feel the piercing breadth
---in between.

Oh, and great choice of words. You have been growing as a poet at an amazing pace. Keep writing.

[Revery]

This is powerful and passionate. There is a little more of you heart in this than I have seen in your poems before. It is just absolutely beautiful. 100 a hundred times over.