Unwanted Pet

Unwanted Pet

A Story by Gemma Elizabeth

The last thing a vampire wants is a human to be responsible for ...


“There’s a man outside claiming he belongs to you.”

I looked up from my computer screen and started at my boss. “Come again?”

My boss smirked. “There is a man -”

“I heard what you said, Dennis.  I don’t have a pet.”

A pet is a title given to a human who belongs to one vampire.  Not many exist because not many vampires want the responsibility.  I most definitely did not have a pet; I went out of my way never to fed on a human more then once. So the question was, why was someone claiming I owned him?

“What does he look like?”

Dennis’s smile got bigger. “He’s short, fat and if I’m not mistaken bald.”

I thought over the last few people I had fed off and shook my head.

“I haven’t feed off anyone looking like that.”

“Well he’s outside demanding to see his protector.”

Dennis started to laugh his head off.  I’m glad someone was enjoying this.

“Fine, send the freak in.”

Dennis gave me a mock bow and existed. When he returned, there was indeed a short, fat, balding man trailing behind him.  A short, fat, balding man I didn’t recognise.  This was going to be fun.

“Okay Dennis, you can go.”

Dennis gave another bow.  I just about resisted hurling the computer tower at him.  He paid my wages after all.  Wouldn’t do to put him out of commission.

   When we were alone, I asked the delusional human his name.  He didn’t speak. Instead he walked over to me, reaching into his jacket. I held onto my patience and asked again.

            “It doesn’t matter what my name is.”

            “I’d have to disagree, considering you’re claiming you’re mine.”

            His eyes narrowed, “As if I’d ever tie myself to a demon like you.”

            Great, I’d got myself a nutter.  A nutter who was reaching inside his jacket…  

I leapt from my chair and tackled him to the ground, making sure to trap his arm inside his jacket.  

“What’s the plan, Baldie?” I growled in his face, “Gut me? Shot me? Or have you gone for an old fashion staking?”

He began to struggle underneath me.  I wrapped my hands round his neck.  He stilled.

I pushed my face into his. “Talk.”

“I need no weapon other then my faith,” he wheezed.

I released his throat and sat up.  “Your faith?”

Taking advantage of his upper-body freedom, he removed his arm from where it’d been trapped, bringing with it a cross that he shoved in my face.  I laughed, couldn’t help it. 

“Why do you laugh vampire?”  Baldie’s face was red.  Guess he didn’t like being laughed at.

“You brought a cross!” I laughed harder, “You’d do better with a toothpick.  At least you could draw blood with that.”

His face dropped as he eyed his weapon. “B-but its silver.”

I rolled off him, clutching my belly.  It was amazing what humans thought worked as a defence against us.  A silver cross has to be the funniest in a long time.  Last time I’d been ‘attacked’ with one, I’d been in a corset. 

“Someone has got to update you people,” I said between laughs.

Baldie reached back into his jacket and pulled out a vial.  He removed the cork and splashed me with the water.

“Be gone, unholy one!”

I screamed and his face brightened - until I laughed again.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.” I choked.

The office door slammed open.  I tilted my head to see Dennis stood in the threshold, gun in hand.

“What’s going on? I thought I heard a scream.”

I looked at my unwanted pet. He was clutching his cross, muttering the Lord’s Prayer.

           “Nothing much,” I said, “Just a Christian getting a dose of reality.”

© 2011 Gemma Elizabeth

Author's Note

Gemma Elizabeth
Yet another idea I'm playing with.

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This is very interesting. Nice creativity.

Posted 10 Years Ago

Very clever, Gemma! This was great fun and had me smiling all the way through. I think I even snorted once. You've got a few tense issues, for example, "I thought over the last few people I had feed off and shook my head"...feed instead of fed, but nothing too serious. Maybe just give it a quick check. Really well done!

Posted 13 Years Ago

This was very funny. One does have to be very thorough when attacking a certain type of vampire. Otherwise, they would be in trouble. Cute story.

Posted 13 Years Ago

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3 Reviews
Added on March 1, 2011
Last Updated on June 5, 2011
Tags: Vampire, Human, Pet, Attack, Cross, Silver, Holy


Gemma Elizabeth
Gemma Elizabeth

Crewe, North West, United Kingdom

Recently graduated from a Drama and Creative Writing course, I find that I'm unable to write XD more..