There's a Room

There's a room
Inside
My house- I've
Filled it with Longing
And Love.

Bare walls return
only grief.

Reviews

[Richard]

I really like the minimalist style of this
I like that ... I liked it this was good :)

[Sanjh]

True, the deep message behind this short poem. It's up to us to decide how to spend our life.
Thank you for sharing...:)

[Lizzie Mitchell]

short but not lacking in depth
I like it

[Stonz P.]

The brevity of the piece only adds to the imagination, makes you think about how one fills the empty spaces with emotion and things. The spaces get filled but the emptiness remains..

One suggestion is to rephrase the last couplet:
From bare walls comes
only grief

Only a personal opinion, it's really very good nonetheless.

[icomeanon_13]

Thanks for your review Stonz. I always take suggestions seriously, but I will stick by my original final lines as I feel strongly about the exchange in the poem. On the one side is the speaker giving and on the other, walls return something not equivalent. In some respects the wall is alive, as I meant it to sound.

I try to paint in broad strokes when I write, giving the reader a chance to enjoy the picture from their own perspective, however, this one is particularly personal with a very specific meaning.

I appreciate your thoughtfulness and kind review- please feel free to continue to read my work. I welcome all advice.