Reap Her Love

What happens when the love of your life is so accepting of her past that it affects the love she claims to have for you?

Conflicting thoughts tucked away in the corner of my mind

Aching to see the light, however never an attempt

Dying in their solitude? Oh how I wish

Fading into nothingness would bring upon the calm

Though they persist so with their screams

Screams of rage, jealousy and depression

Forcing the tongue to speak, though not making a sound

How can attempt-less thoughts force soundless voice?

How can passion burning be waived so easily

And yet negative thoughts be brought to light?

I can’t help but feel as if she is ashamed

Of the love we have created and molded to this day

Her heart speaks one way but the paranoia sets in

The past comes to reap and her mind is stale

Direct. Blunt. Emotionless . . . no . . . Loveless.

Public affection was a proud history, embraced

Until misfortune stole her identity, forever

Pressure to rebuild the past she once proudly wore

Or acceptance of the darkness that has taken my love?

What do I do?

 

Help me . .  .

 

[“Reap Her Love” by Seye Hawklight (TDH) 5/23/14 ]

Author's Note

This is a tale about my girlfriend. She doesn't like to be publicly affectionate because of her past three exes. They were completely against it when she was all for it. Now that we are together, she refuses to let me publicly affectionate with her because she claims she doesn't like it. It hurts knowing that we are together, however we're not allowed to show the world. It makes me feel like she's ashamed of me or something. I truly don't know what to do . . . Do I accept her ways of living and give up trying to have any public affection with her? Or do I keep trying to show her why she's not in the wrong for wanting this so many years ago? This is a true plea for help and advice through my first ever poetry submission online. Feedback is accepted, but advice is admired. Help me ~