Cycle

Cycle

A Poem by ilurvekinilaw
"

The idea for the poem was taken from the parable of the prodigal son.

"

An errant raindrop

Will still hit home

No matter how long

Or obstinately far

It takes to get there.

The heavens’ prodigal teardrop

Traverses the wrong roof shingles

          (with spaces in between like missing teeth)

Goes down the crooked ledges of the waterpipe

          (like a well-intentioned pinball hitting everything but the center)

And lingers in far too many gutters        

          (stopping by to acquaint itself with a few rotten leaves)

Just to find out

That the drunken trickles

And erratic drips

Will still lead to the warm dark soil

And back above.

 

© 2008 ilurvekinilaw


Author's Note

ilurvekinilaw
Didja like it? Please tell me what I need to improve on.

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Featured Review

This is an interesting poem. It's easy to read, but at the same time provokes some though.

"(like a well-intentioned pinball hitting everything but FOR the center)"

'For' seems kind of odd right there. To me it sounds better without 'for', as the conjunction 'but' does all the work in showing what the pinball does not hit. Cool stuff.

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I did like it. It flows well, had me thinking, and has this somewhat circular aspect about it. How you set up the beginning, middle, and end worked well with your message. No matter what path the drop chooses to take, it still hits the ground.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Traverses the wrong roof shingles
(with spaces in between like missing teeth)
Goes down the crooked ledges of the waterpipe
(like a well-intentioned pinball hitting everything but the center)
And lingers in far too many gutters
(lingering to acquaint itself with a few rotten leaves)

WELL I DON'T CONSIDER MYSELF A CRITIC SO I COULDN'T TELL YOU, BUT THESE LINES HERE ARE WONDERFUL, DON'T GET ME WRONG I LIKE THE WHOLE THING BUT THIS REALLY STANDS OUT AND IS WOREDED WONDERFULLY......AMANDA

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is an interesting poem. It's easy to read, but at the same time provokes some though.

"(like a well-intentioned pinball hitting everything but FOR the center)"

'For' seems kind of odd right there. To me it sounds better without 'for', as the conjunction 'but' does all the work in showing what the pinball does not hit. Cool stuff.

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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3 Reviews
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Added on October 19, 2008
Last Updated on October 21, 2008

Author

ilurvekinilaw
ilurvekinilaw

Iloilo City, Philippines



About
I'm not particularly fond of writing. I just see it as a cathartic way of purging myself (whatever that means). I prefer having total strangers comment on my work rather people I know. I have no idea .. more..

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