Love for Me

Considering the meaning of love and the feelings I might be unaware of.

Love for me,

Has never gone well.

It was amazing to think

It was amazing to whisper to yourself at night.

 

But once I said it aloud,

To the one whom made me feel the word

Everything falls apart.

 

Feelings start to disappear from their hearts

The need he feels to be around you departs

As things go back to before the start.

 

I am left

Alone

With strong feeling feelings

And a heart that is now broken.

 

I don't know the true meaning of the word love

I only know and experience what it is not.

 

It has been four months now

The longest I've been in a relationship.

Usually the guy has broken up with me two months ago,

But you've stayed.

 

It's been all I've ever wanted.

You've helped me accomplish many of my romantic fantasy dreams.

 

A spontaneous beginning with feelings you showed with your lips

At 11:11 11/11/11, we shared one mutual wish.

We lay on a blanket staring at the sky for hours

I had the best date anyone can ask for.

On New Year's eve, at 12 we kissed.

You put our movie ticket stub where you will always find it and remember.

 

Still we have our downs...

 

We don't meet often,

 and I don't always understand you.

We don't agree on everything

 and you don't always understand my sensitivity.

We clash at certain points,

 but we strive for understanding to keep our relationship together.

 

You would think that Facebook and one class is all we have

But there is more.

We both know it.

He can be my friend and the one I have my heart set on at the same time.

 

He is a true friend,

One who keeps personal secrets and thoughts to himself and tells no one.

One who wants to help you whether you ask for it or not.

A girl can tell him when her bra has come unclasped in the front

And trust him to turn around and not look when you try to re-hook it.

 

He is someone I can love

One who looks at me and can't help but smile.

One who makes promises and keeps them.

A girl can expect him to keep her best interests in mind

And trust him to tell her when he really misses her.

 

He is truly one-of-a-kind

 

But love...

What is love?

 

Just when I'm convinced that I feel that way about him

He does something to make my feelings grow stronger.

So it must not be love, not yet.

If I am still adding on to my feelings.

So maybe, if I keep waiting until the point where I feel so much,

That I

EXPLODE!

Maybe that'll be when I know that it's love.

For sure

And forevermore.

 

Love for me,

Has never gone well.

But maybe, if I'm brave and unafraid.

I will boldly take this chance.

And maybe things will go well this time.

Just this once, love will stay on my side.  : )