pure exhileration

pure exhileration

A Poem by Shapirta
"

a poem on flying

"
push off the cold, hard ground
spread your wings
see what you can do
soar over the skies
on top of the world
you are on top of the world
you have control
break free 
into the pure exhileration

© 2014 Shapirta


Author's Note

Shapirta
tell me what you think!

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Reviews

a spirit-raising poem! made my spirit soar! well written shapirta!

Posted 6 Years Ago


This writing describes what being a bird would feel like. Imaginative.

Posted 6 Years Ago


A very nice and uplifting piece. 8/10

Posted 6 Years Ago


Shapirta

6 Years Ago

thanks! =)
As exciting as the blue far streching skies to soar in! Pure joy!!

Posted 6 Years Ago


I love how uplifting your words are in this. You could literally be talking about flying, or simply soaring high in your goals. Great work my friend.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Shapirta

6 Years Ago

i tried to make it like that!
Beautifully simple. I liked your positive message. I thought you could possibly break the poem into two stanzas instead of one. Here are some other minor suggestions:

push off the cold, hard ground
spread your wings
see what you can do
soar over the skies
on top of the world

you are on top of the world -> cut "you are"
you have control
break free -> add "so" before "break"
into the pure exhilaration

Good job! :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


Well now I'm inspired..............

Posted 6 Years Ago



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7 Reviews
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Added on September 23, 2014
Last Updated on September 23, 2014
Tags: flying

Author

Shapirta
Shapirta

dude hi!, NY



About
i recently turned eleven, and for as long as i can remember, have always loved writing. haha wow. now im 12. time flies.. more..

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A Poem by Shapirta



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