auditions

auditions

A Poem by Shapirta
"

you'll see!

"
you feel your fingers tense to your sides
your hand sweats on the microphone
the spotlight's on you
only you
everyone staring
people screaming
daring you
open your mouth
song rushes out in a beautiful melody
leave yourself
your mouth stretching in a wide grin
almost sad to hear the last note roll off your tongue
untense,
as the audience rise
in a standing ovation

© 2014 Shapirta


Author's Note

Shapirta
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Wow what an audition.
Makes me shudder to think.

Posted 4 Years Ago


So apt and relatable. Nice one! :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


its great, I can feel it, very near to my heart, :D

Posted 6 Years Ago


Great fantasy writing. If only... still smiling.

Posted 6 Years Ago


I can sing and I like to do karaoke not that that is the same but I kinda know this feeling. Only in part though cause I think I would be too tense and too nervous to actually do it for real. Though I so want to do spoken word poetry, but alas, there exists no venue for it here in my small town. Love this piece, can almost see me standing there.

Posted 6 Years Ago


If I could only carry a tune...your poetry sang instead, well said.

Posted 6 Years Ago


I couldn't help but picture 'X factor' and watch you on stage! I know that is not the best review but it is how this played out in my mind... Well done! :))

Posted 6 Years Ago


So true! Auditions and performances can give you so much adrenaline. When you are up there in front of people, singing, dancing, or acting your heart out that thundering applause and standing ovation is the best thanks you could ever hope for. I didn't know you performed!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Ashira Macy

6 Years Ago

Good for you! It is good to know what you want so young.
Shapirta

6 Years Ago

i'll take that as a compliment! =)
Ashira Macy

6 Years Ago

It definitely is! I am a fan of yours, have been from the first story I read that you wrote.
This is nice. It really brings back some memories (I was once in a children's choir). The way you wrote this piece captured the nervousness of the moment. Here are some minor things that you could change though:

you feel your fingers tense to your sides -> cut "you feel" to capture the urgency
your hand sweats on the microphone
the spotlight's on you
only you
everyone staring
people screaming
daring you
open your mouth
song rushes out in a beautiful melody -> maybe put this line in italics or parentheses
leave yourself
your mouth stretching in a wide grin -> maybe put this line in italics or parentheses
almost sad to hear the last note roll off your tongue
untense,-> maybe use the word "loose" instead?
as the audience rise -> change "rise" to "rises"
in a standing ovation -> cut "a"

Goo job! :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


This brought to mind Karaoke night at the local watering hole.

Posted 6 Years Ago



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10 Reviews
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Added on September 23, 2014
Last Updated on September 23, 2014
Tags: poetry

Author

Shapirta
Shapirta

dude hi!, NY



About
i recently turned eleven, and for as long as i can remember, have always loved writing. haha wow. now im 12. time flies.. more..

Writing